Can I sue my mom for falling on purpose?

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My mom has been falling on purpose to get attention and hurting herself and the doctor has told her the next time she falls shes going into the nursing home ,which means I have to get a job and uproot my children out of our home where we finally got to have for the past two years , I have been seeing about my mom thats why I haven't been working.

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Top Answer
Wow. This is a very disfunctional situation, isn't it?

I think that you can sue just about anybody for just about anything, but that doesn't mean you'd win. How could you prove that she's "doing it on purpose"?

I take it that you moved your family into your mother's home a couple of years ago, and have been her caregiver. Is that right? And now that her doctor is suggesting that she needs more care than you can provide, you are worried you will have to move out and get a job to support your family. Hmmm ...

Have you looked into what it would take to get her into a nursing home? If she has no other assets besides the house, she will probably need to apply for Medicaid. I believe in most cases she does not have to give up the house, although after she dies Medicaid may have claims on it to repay what they have spent on her care. Whatever income she has coming in each month will probably need to go toward her room and board in the nursing home, with small allowance for personal expenses. So, yes, it does look like you'd have to make other arrangements for your own living expenses, but perhaps could continue to live in her house.

It is up to you, but instead of getting a lawyer to sue Mother, I think it would be a better investment to contact an Elder Law attorney to help set things up for if/when she needs to be cared for in a skilled nursing facility.

No job is guaranteed to be forever. Companies close. New managment wants to bring n their own people. Companies merge and downsize. In the case of caregivers, clients get better and don't need continued care, or they get worse and need more care, or they decide they'd prefer a different setting. Or they die. When you took on the job of caregiving Mother, with the job benefits of you and your children having a home and support, there was always the possibility that it wouldn't last forever.

Good luck to you as you work through what is best for Mother and how to support your family.
If Mom is falling to "get attention," maybe she needs more attention! It's a rather extreme measure to get it. Parents will tell you that children would rather be punished for being bad than ignored. Can you see if there is an Adult Day Care where you mom could go to get some socializing? There is also a condition called Münchausen Syndrome where people injure or feign illness so they can go to the doctor. Doctors and nurses are compassionate and show sympathy so it's easy to see why someone would do this.

Instead of suing your mother, who probably also has some dementia, rethink how you are interact with her. If she sits in front of a television all day and is treated as a houseplant, she may be bored or just wants SOMEONE to notice her. Check with your community for Eldercare services, as they may have a Social Worker who can come and assess her needs for you.

It is admirable to be able to take care of our parents but it is a job we must want to do! They cared for us and now it's our turn to repay them.
I don't think I'd ever consider sueing my mom...it just would seem to be a waste of money and alot of hurt feelings. Does your mom use a walker? If not maybe it's time to invest in one. If your mom is how my mom was when she was needing me as her caregiver I know that it was really hard to her to have to give up her independance and that she hated having to admit that she was needing help. It is hard to know whether she's doing it on purpose or not...but I do know that when we we're considering placing our grandparents into a carehome that they would have to sell their home to have the money to cover the care which was atleast $2000. a month. Have a heart to heart with your mom and try and find out why she's falling. Life changes fast and is unpredictable. It is hard work and emotional, so don't beat yourself up. You and your children will find a way.
Without knowing what's wrong with your mother mentally and if it IS just attention she's seeking, then find her some activity that fills in for the attention she lacks. Hire a companion for her if you can't give her as much time as she needs. And if she's just being ornery about the whole falling thing, tell her next fall and she's in a nursing home.
Honestly, I cannot believe your Mom is falling on purpose, how can anyone tell and why would she do such a thing, maybe she is dizzy or sick. I agree if she is ok and falling that it sounds like she does need more attention.I wouldnt leave her side if it were my Mother that had a fall, why isnt someone next to her when she walks? For a doctor to threaten her with a nursing home, I think is just down right WRONG. If you want to sue your own mother, you shoudnt be her caretaker. Are you just taking care of her for money, or for love. Geesh the more I read the more I realize how lucky my Mom is to be with me. I am in shock with this posting, sorry. I wish your Mom the best.
luvmom, I realized 3 things by reading on these boards: 1) I am very, very lucky to have 3 sisters who carry most of the load of caring for our mother, who is still in her home, while I care for my husband with dementia. We get along, without agreeing about everything. We would never undermine each other or be spiteful. 2) We are all extremely lucky that Ma has always had a very pleasant personality and has not been changed by her impairments 3) Ma is lucky to have all of us!

It is also a blessing that none of us has ever expected an inheritence. It keeps money out of the picture entirely.

Yes indeed, these discussion boards have been very educational.

As to the doctor, luvmom, it is hard for us to know whether he "threatened" the mother with a nursing home, or pointed out that if she continues to fall then apparently she isn't getting sufficient care where she is and may need a more supervised environment. Lordy, I hope the medical profession doesn't see long term care placement as a punishment!
I agree Jeanne, I dont have any sibling help but my Mom is lucky. My mom wanted so badly to never burden anyone and was so independent. My Mom begged me to shoot her if she ever needed a nursing home, we had many laughs over it. Wouldnt you know, she gets dementia! Poor thing! To her, mentioning a Nursing home would feel like a threat, thats what I meant. I dont think its right to say.
night
wow that just blew me away . sue ur mother , oh my goodness ,
maybe ur mother should sue you ? how would u feel about that ?
u dont sue a sick elders . you get old , u do fall , get her a walker
and save tons of money instead of blowing it al on laywers and heartaches .
she needs to spend the money she has on medical things for her .
dont take that away from her , u dont sue ur parents . xoxo
First of all it is not the doc's decision when to place her and she could very well be doing it on purpose my mil fell and the other person did not even touch her she craved attention my husband would make sure he fell if I asked him to do something for himself to punish me. As some others said you can probably stay in her home for the time being even if she is placed but when she passes on the home belongs to the nursing home if it is in her name if it is in trust and has been for the past 5 years they can not touch it you need to see an elder lawyer you can use her money for that because it benefits her and he can steer you in the right direction you will have to get a job and provide a home for your family that is a given because when she died the nursing home will get her home maybe you can pay rent but the elder lawyer would be able to advise you you need to get started yesterday there is no time to waste adult children of today have to assume that anything their parents own will be needed for their own care and not to be passed on unless the elders have done so when they were younger because the look back period now is 5 years and most parents do not plan ahead for many resons-I hate to be blunt but you need tp plan for your own family and be glad your Mom has a house as an assest for her care in the comming years and they will take her money-if she has what they consider too much she will have to pay for the care until she has spent down that includes her life insurance you and she can prepay the funeral which is over $6000.00 at this time but that is all she will be allowed to have the lawyer can help you with the medicaide application which is a bear to do believe me or the social worker in the nursing home she will be in-but again the doc has no say but if he feels she is in a unsafe situation he or she can report this to APS and they will tell you what I and the others have told you already-it is to your benefit to start the ball rolling-the time is now.
What?? You can TRY to sue your Mom...... but really. A judge would throw this out. Good luck getting a lawyer too. You know lawyers charge big bucks per hour for their services and pro bono is rare. What would you sue her for? Please, not everyone can just sue because they think they can. The courts would be so backed up it would be crazy. I know, I have three lawyers in my family. Besides, sounds like your Mom has some real issues that could be emotional, mental or physical. Are you living with her to have a place to live or really care for her. Maybe she needs to be in a nursing home. This is, as one person said, very dysfunctional. You can bet the doctor sees right through this. Let's give him some credit too.

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