Anyone had success in dealing with a hypochondriac / munchausen parent?

Follow
Share

90 yrs. old and when mom gets bored or not getting enough attention she comes up with a new ailment and another doctor visit on the horizon. She has cried wolf so many times I don't believe anything anymore but must humor her in the event that for once the ailment may be real. This has become such a vicious circle and I don't know how I can ever get her to be truthful.
She's been obsessive about the medical profession as far back as I can remember and it's only getting worse. Mom seems to have no conscience or inkling that what she is doing is wrong in any way. The docs have told me "there is no sign of dementia", but I'd like to know if she is a sociopath.
Mom is quite healthy for 90 and I have come to resent the fact that so many out there are really suffering while she imagines ailments to get attention. I find this truly repulsive and smacks in the face of everything I believe in.
My mother disgusts me and I am at a loss.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
62

Answers

Show:
1 2 3 4 5
Right there with you guys!! My dad is 62- and currently in the hospital for the 5th time since dec 24.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Sakura, you say you "all" (who's included in the all, by the way?) want to move back to Canada but your mother doesn't because she will lose her benefits.

Okay, so your mother doesn't want to go. But what's stopping the rest of you?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

My mum is only 47, I wish she was in her 80s so that all her crap would end with her soon. I know what you're thinking, what a terrible thing to say. My mother has faked broken bones, seizures, hospital visits and cancer numerous times. It stopped when I was 12 and then started again when I was 17. Moving countries she was able to play the same ailments over again. cutting off her hair getting a walker, having seizures in front of her religious friends who would tell me she was having seizure today. in which I would roll my eyes and tell them "that's funny, never in my life has she ever had a seizure in front of me and I live with her, maybe it's you". I have nothing but resentment for that woman, when she talks about her being sick I ignore her. When she pretends to nearly fall over I laugh at her. She doesn't pretend much in front of me anymore because she knows she won't get sympathy from me. Sometimes I just wish she was gone. I went through foster care and sexual abuse because of my mother. because she's selfish. We all want to move back to Canada but she doesn't want to leave England because she will lose her benifits. I kid you not, 10 minutes ago her therapy worker was here and she was screaming a fake cry that would win a 5 year old any oscar. You know that fake cry no tears that is a result of not getting what they want. Well 2 hours of that, the therapy worker is gone and my mum is up playing with the dog making dinner as if it never happened. I fear the day that she drives me insane. I have no choice but to live with her. I'm glad I'm not alone but also sad others have to deal with this. Just ignore it. do not give into them and distance yourself emotionally. that's my only advice.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My mother had a life which revolved around the doctor. As she got older she insisted they saw her at home. All she ever talked about was her ailments. She carried nothing about anything else. Last year my daughter and I went to see her. Lots of news. Daughter going to university, son learning to drive and I was putting our house on the market. She said that's nice then told me all about her sore leg (nobody cares, not long for this world etc) for the next 30 minutes. My mother was fit and healthy when she wanted to be. I think this behaviour was based in a need to be thought about and cared about. She loved being in hospital. She died in December when she fell over banging her head and having a bleed in the brain. A sad way to go but it wasn't any of the many conditions my mother thought she had.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Oh my goodness, I'm crying sitting here because you all understand. My mother is just like this. Today she is at the doctors again. She gets mad when they find nothing wrong with her. She is at the doctor at least once a month. When the phone rings and I see it's her I immediately tense up because she will either be sick (known by the shortness of breath she talks with or with tears but mysteriously disappears in a few minutes) or she is calling to complain about something. Her words are always, I'm such a pain in the a**, I hate to bother you. I go to counseling and this last time all I did was talk about my mother. I love her, but I don't like her behavior. She's lonely....I know. I work and go to school part time, my husband works, my brother works, my sister in law works and all the grandchildren are in school. We all have lives and we talk to her a couple of times a week each. It's not enough for her. I told her to volunteer someplace, nope. I mentioned maybe seeing a counselor...nope. The one time she actually had a problem was a few years back and we didn't believe her until her uterus prolapsed and was hanging out. Kind of hard to put that on. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm starting to resent her, and I don't like it.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Hello I just came across this forum and I don't know why i did not look sooner.I am not the only one! I am a 51 year old single mother with a 13 year old daughter. My Mother has lived with us for the past 13 years. She has ALWAYS been a hypochondriac but lately I feel as if i am at the end of my rope. My daughters really do not have a good relationship with her because she has never acted like a grandmother because she is so self absorbed in her so called illnesses. She has never once taken my daughters out anywhere except a grocery store.I try to ignore her but she makes sure everyone in the house can hear her moaning and groaning. When I challenge her she threatens suicide. Just this evening she said she was going to look at a one way ticket to Amsterdam for assisted suicide because she just can't live like this. I am so tired of the cry wolf talk. She is such a negative person and i always try to be positive but it is dragging me down Help!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Hello Tess73. I hear you on your plight. For me, this is my MIL and I have a bit more compassion than my poor husband who has lived with it all his life.

There are several books on Amazon that deal with hypochondriasis and I've read their previews. I understand that for the patient, it's a manifestation of fear and depression and their "cry" is physical. I'm assuming their brain is making it a physical issue but I haven't read the books yet.

Please keep us informed. It's comforting to have support even just to vent.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

While this is an old thread, I'm responding since it's had recent activity. Also, I have GOOD news with my situation. I would keep in mind that even though we as family members see these ailments and complaints as fake, contrived, manipulation, and attention seeking, KEEP IN MIND, that those ailments are often the symptoms of DEPRESSION and ANXIETY. They may actually have those ailments, but they are brought on by their depression and anxiety. I have dealt with it for years with my loved one. It's extremely frustrating and can really cause you mental distress trying to cope. It is quite debilitating. It affects the entire family.

FINALLY, my loved one ended up in the ER one more time due to her anxiety and depression. (She's had many trips, just to discover, nothing is actually wrong.) An MRI and other tests ruled out physical causes. FINALLY, she is listening to her Primary, starting on medication and is SEEING A PSYCHIATRIST! She is the one who said she wanted it. The pain has gotten that bad. So, for all of you who are dealing with this, please hold on. I had to gently push, but we got it accomplished.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Thanks so much!!! We will check it out.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

National Alliance for Mentally Ill. (and their families)
NAMI Rutherford County, TN
(800) 467-3589
(615) 763-5711
Monthly Support Group Meetings
2nd Thursday. 7:00 p.m.
Trustpoint Hospital
1009 N. Thompson Lane
Murfeesboro, TN 37129
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

1 2 3 4 5
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions