As POA for my 76-year-old mother with dementia do I have the right to stop her from getting married?

Pre-NUP

How about setting up a "fake" wedding with no "real" papers signed? Let them think they are getting married as they did when they were younger. In your mother's mind she may "think" she is 30 years old again and this is the love of her life. She may not realize she is 76, as you know with Dementia and ALZ, she is going back in years. I would ask the facility their thoughts and see if you can't set up a "fake" wedding along with the Groom's family. Have you spoken to them? What do they say?
Keep in touch, would like to know how this is solved.
Blessings,
Bridget

My question is, why would you want to stop her, aside from her being not really able to use good judgement? Do you question the intent of the intended husband? Is the purpose for happiness? Is there some financial equation going on on his part? As a family member, I would wonder about the financial consequences to everyone in the will, if there is a will. Other than that, let her have some happiness if she can find a way with dementia.

Not sure about the simple answer to your question - state laws could vary, or it could be case to case; as a guardian you would more likely have the absolute say so on it. You might want to consider letting her do it, if you can be sure it is all kosher financially. It might bring them both some happiness. Check with an eldercare attorney or at least the facility social worker to find out any effects on benefits or any other concerns. Most ALF and even skilled nursing facilities will arrange for husband and wife to share a room, sometimes with substantial cost savings also. If nothing else she should have semi-private room rate without the usual worries about getting along with one room mate after another. But, if the relationship seems abusive or not a healthy, friendly and supportive one in any way, you would at least want to involve some facility staff in helping assess it and guide the decisions and planning to deal with it in the best way possible.

The "short answer" is no you can't, unless she has been deemed incompetent by at least two physicians.

Does the nursing home know? They may not like it either. They might help with the declaration of incompetence. Also, maybe you could arrange a ceremony that is lovely but not legal?

If she marries, both new spouses have created legal consequences for a host of issues, not the least being inheritance rights. Further, facilities like your mom's are potential sources of STDs and other health issues. Whatever happens, get a pre-nup. But if legal competency is an issue, then the protections may not be adequate. Love may be all around, but so too are many practical and legal issues. What does her gentleman friend's family say? Will assets be joint? Tax filing joint? Supplementary insurance status? Life insurance and account benficiaries?

Get help and heed the details.

--Michael Froman

My grandmother outlived three husbands and married for the THIRD time at age 80 and they had 16 years together. Of course, she did not have dementia. We all need love, and personally, I say don't interfere EXCEPT to make sure the financial ducks are all in a row. See an Elder Law Attorney - every state is different. Then give her your blessing and a nice wedding. I also feel that lying is inappropriate as well as FAKE weddings. My two cents. :0)

OH MY GOD! ive seen and heard it all now just OMG if mum did this oh id just run for the hills! sorry i think its funny in a way.

I think a great idea "fake wedding". But if shes still competent OMG so sorry you and if she is then get a pre-nup. Surely your lawyer can help you.
Sorry im in shock you just never think of these things happening. Let us know what happens!

Cant say i was in my right mind when i married hubby weve since divorced!!!

Well Mom didn't get married thank goodness. She was diagnosed with primary progressive aphasia with dementia last year.Her disease explained her very bad judgement and decision making. After the boyfriend fussed about not being included in information about her Dr.visits I point blank asked him if he was ready to accept responsibility for her care. They broke up shortly after and Mom cried to move once again this time to a senior apt complex. They asked her to move after 2 short months. Moved to assisted living but that didn't work either. Mom is here with me, should of walked her down the aisle lol! The boyfriend didn't have dementia and was a very healthy 64 yr. Old. I think a lot of the love between them was my Mom needed a companion and she had a tv and he didn't! She gave him a lot of attention and things he didn't have. Now looking back I should of just ignored a lot of things but couldn't put my finger on mom's crazy actions, now I know. Thanks everyone, it's one of those things I can laugh about now...laughing is good !!