Protectmom Asked July 2012

My step-father is an alcoholic and now suffers immobility and my mom can't take care of him. No insurance, no assistance. Any suggestions?

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He is 61 and she is 70. He has no income and my mom has SSI. She can't take care of him and without insurance for him, we can't find anyplace that will take him. He cannot walk. He has been in hospital 3 times this week. He falls and she has to wait till she can find someone to help her pick him up.

We are looking for some assistance. Or ways to get assistance.

Any suggestions will be MOST WELCOME!!!!

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jeannegibbs Jul 2012
Donna, this is very frustrating for you, I'm sure! And for your mother.

You can appeal a disability ruling if you don't think they got the facts right.

Have you called Social Services?

It may be worth spending some of the savings to consult an attorney who specializes in Elder Law. He or she can advise your parents whether it would be worthwhile to appeal the disability ruling, and how to qualify for a nursing home. Some of the savings will probably have to go toward the NH. A lawyer very familiar with all the rules can provide guidance regarding how to protect as much of the savings for your mother's needs as possible.

Something has to change here. This is no way for your mother to live.
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Protectmom Jul 2012
Thank you so much.

He hasn't worked in over 5 years. They applied recently for Disability and was declined stating that he was on it over the last 2 years, which is not true. Also, they said he can work...WHAT!!!!!

He is currently drinking. And he can't stand on his own. He has neuropothy which of course is worse when drinking. He falls because he has no muscle in his legs. He has pretty much, since he hasn't worked, has done nothing but sit around and drink.

My mother wants him in a home. She tried to get Medical but they had too much money in their account. The last of their savings. She is not strong enough to get him up.

He was in ER on Monday because he fell in the middle of the night and gashed his leg. They were in Thursday because he couldn't poop and then yesterday because he fell and my mom couldn't pick him up because his legs wouldn't function. Yesterday was the first time that they kept him over night. They had a social worker come to the room and said that there was nothing they could do for him.

It is so frustrating. It makes me so mad that the government, etc treat our elderly so terribly.

I really appreciate your input and anything else that you can suggest would be greatly appreciated.

Donna
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jeannegibbs Jul 2012
If you have not already, call Social Services in your parent's county. Ask for a needs assessment for your step-father. The intake worker who responds will know all about programs the county administers and also other resources available in your area.

Is your stepfather working? Was he until recently? Has he ever applied for Disability payments? Is he currently drinking? What causes his falls? Does he use a wheelchair or a walker? Can he transfer himself from the bed to a wheelchair?

Does your mother want help in keeping him home or does she want help in paying for placement?

Were the hospital visits this week to ER? Was he admitted to the hospital? You might also contact a medical social worker at that hospital and ask for help in understanding your mother's options.

There IS assistance available. I think you need professional guidance in finding it. Fortunately such guidance is available through Social Services.

Good luck!
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