Is it wrong to feel mad about having to stay home every day to care for my mom?

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I am wondering if it is wrong to feel mad about having to stay home every day and I can't even go to the store. I am feeling overwelmed by her. She needs somewhere to go like a home and she refuses.

Answers 1 to 10 of 28
No, it is not wrong to feel resentful, but stay aware of your feelings so they do not interfere with the quality of care you give, start looking for alternatives, can anyone else stay with her to give you some time off, or if it is time to look for a home talk to her doctor about how to make the move as pain free as possible for both of you...Good Luck.
No it is not wrong. It sounds like she has you chained to her for your false guilt over feeling mad about being the 24/7 slave.

Tell us some more about your mother's health and more about yourself. Like are you an only child or do you have any siblings? Does your mother have any retirement or a long term health care insurance that would help pay for her going to assisted living if she qualifies?

Do you have medical and durable POA for her or does anyone have it?

Has her doctor seen her lately and would it be possible for home health care to come to you and do an evaluation of your mother's health and her continuing to live at home?

No one likes to hear that they can't live at home anymore, but that news is often received better, but not always from a professional like a doctor.

Keep coming back here to vent, to let us know what is going on and to let us know how you are doing?
neco, No it's not bad to feel mad or trapped or guilty but those feelings won't get you anywhere in the long run. You need to find a solution. Not everyone is cut out to care for their loved one at home, and those who can should be honored. Study your options and I'm sure you'll find the answer soon. Your health and mental well being are just as important as your mom's.
No dear its not wrong, I am going thru the same thing, I havent been to work in over a month! Its becoming financially hard but I wake up each day with a different agenda. Today I decided an adult day care 2 days a week will help both of us, and I will take it from there. Each day will bring on a different emotion, but I have 2 siblings who does nothing to help me so its just me, and I cant afford an assisted living ome and dont trust all the smallers ones I found. So look into adult day care. They are are pretty high, but you may find a less expensive one in your area. Contact the Alzhemier Assoc, they are a great help!
Neco--I would say that it is NOT WRONG to feel mad about the situation you are in, as it does sound as though you are very much overwhelmed or even feeling trapped.
To begin with, you probably need an alternative plan-so you can break away, while your parent is being taken care of. Can you call a family meeting-to see what others have to say, or possibly offer?
Another alternative-is perhaps day care....your parent will be watched, while you have some ME TIME--to run errands or whatnot. Most important to clear your head of the stress you have been under.
Caregiving is not an easy task, I have been there, but on the upside, the rewards are great.
Best to you and your family~and do get back to us in this forum.
Hap
No, I feel pissed too! I am angry that I have three other siblings who do NOTHING.
I also have siblings who do nothing, not even call, wait, I take that back, one sibling, the executor of my father's estate has lied to me and told me that my inheretance doesn't exist, Now I have to scrape together the retainer to get a lawyer to show her the paperwork the court sent me that shows that at the time of his death it did...
Anyway, I'm struggling with this same question now. It has gotten to the point that I ask "Is it wrong that I am even attempting this?"
I have an appt with a family counselor in the morning. Wish me luck.
Ted,

Have not seen you around lately. I'm so glad to hear you are seeing a family counselor today and hope it starts you on a healthier path.
Thanks Crowe,
It's been very rough lately, Can't do it alone anymore. Hopefully the counselor will help me work out how to handle everything without cursing myself with lifelong guilt.
It's possible that your mom had some of the same feelings when she was caring for you. It's part of life.

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