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My stepmom is nuts so she is no help

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I would let the doc know about this even if it causes problems with your Dad esp. if he is still driving or taking meds if you think it is serious and is a problem and to what extent his drinking has progressed if could interfere with his meds it is up to the doc to how he uses the information but he does need to know this information and if your Dad gets upset so be it-you can not stand by and look the other way if he had chest pain you would tell the MD.
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I usually accompany my mom to the doctor and try to get the doctor's ear for a second before he goes in to see her. This way it is fresh in his mind and he doesn't have to write it down.
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Through my experiences, what you tell the doctor remains between you doctor and you, unless you wish it to go further. The physician has a way of letting the patient know he is aware of certain things, As a concerned child-I would say 'go for it'
Best, Hap
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Umm. Let's see now. I'm one for being brutally honest, as others on this site have found out, much to their dismay. If you have a POA for medical considerations from your father to you, then you have nothing to worry about. In that case, go talk to your father's physician. However, if you are simply a self-appointed caregiver, in the light of HIPPA and other privacy considerations, I would tell your father first, that you wish to speak to his physician regarding his drinking. If he says that he would rather than you do not , then don't. If he says "Go ahead', then you have his permission. Go ahead.
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Begin by calling the doctor and telling him you have a concern you want to share with him, but confidentiality is itself a concern. He doesn't have to turn around and tell your father that you called, so the two of you (you and the doctor) can figure out how to proceed from there. If the doctor writes anything down in the record and your father asks for the record, the doctor must give it to him and your father will see what's written there. One problem doctors have is, so many family members of patients want to tell them stuff that they can't remember it all and if they write it down it becomes available to the patient! In other words, this is something that doctors deal with all the time and have to figure out ways to do humanely and with integrity. Partner with the doctor and realize that s/he has some tricky stuff to deal with here, as you do.
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