Should I be concerned if my sister does not want to share POA duties?

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I just found out my sister went to my father behind my back and basically told him she can take over as power of attorney. This matter was never discussed between us. My father agreed, the state he is in, he will agree to anything- he doesn't care anymore what happens and told me so. I suggested that we share POA and she flipped on me and refuses to even consider the option. My father used to talk to me about concerns he had when my sister was acting as POA over my mom and I defended her left and right. Now, though, that she is so insistent that I not be involved it is making me wonder if I have a reason to be concerned about him too. She is not even open to sitting down with someone to discuss our options together. She is more concerned with help cleaning our father's house. It IS a disaster and I have told her I would help however and whenever it is possible. My children are both 9 and 7 and my husband works night shift and weekends, so being there as often as she can be is not an option. Therefore my contributions to some of the physical labor she wants me to do is not sufficient to her. Mind you, she hasn't even given me a key to get up there when I can, so for now, I am restricted to going when she is there. All she wants of me is the help with the house. The rest is the "easy part" according to her and she does not want or need my involvement. She is getting so angry with me about this and shutting me out, it is going to damage our relationship and she doesn't seem to care. Am I wrong to be concerned?

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Why is ths situation so common? It makes me so sad. My oldest sister (cruella) had POA and joint tenancy for mom but rarely spoke to her an made it clear that she thought she should get everything when mom passed. About 8 years ago when mom was 79 she made it clear that she wanted me in charge. Cruella refused and we had to hire an attorney. Several threatening lawyer letters and $2500 later it was taken care of. Now mom has dementia and is in AL. My sisters don't even know because they haven't spoken to mom in 2 years. I couldn't imagine what a hlish nightmare is be in in I was feaking with all the legal stuff right now on top of moving mom, etc. if dad is still competent get a lawyer and sit down with him and have a serious talk. If he's not competent, hire a lawyer and ask about an incompetency hearing; that's your first step. I don't know your family, but in my experience your sisters reticence to include you spells trouble. Good luck!
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NO
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Assess your dad's daily needs, meals,htgeene, everyday caring;M GO FOR THERE.
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Setting up bill pay is a good thing ... but if you are the POA it is a good thing you should do. How did Sister have access to your mother's account?

You could create a new account for your mother, transfer all of her money into it, cancel all the bill paying out of the old account, and set it up again in the new account, without ever giving her password, etc. to other parties. You have a responsibility to protect your mother's funds from unauthorized use. Let us hope that Sister was just trying to be helpful and that she would never consider withdrawing money for herself. But hoping isn't the same as protecting against such a possibility.

Mother's account has been compromised. Set up a new one.
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My sister set up bill pay on my mothers account. Sh didn't ask for my mothers permission...but the bills had to be paid. My mother has dementia and I am my Mothers power of attorney? I have asked my sister to turn over the password and I would take over the bill pay and she refuses. What now?
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There should have been a 2nd and 3rd POA listed in the original. If someone wishes to resign their POA I don't know the legal steps. Call Legal Aid or Aging services first gather info and then when you are loaded with info get the law from an attorney. Also call the bank, a bank, .....several banks. They often know this procedure and it also comes to mind, hospitals and other places might have other requirements when the POA changes. I hope you will share the legal outcome of this so we all learn something.
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I am currently the primary caregiver for my 85 year old mother. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters. My older sister and I were named POA's for my mother about 2 years ago. My sister is named as an "authorized signer" on mom's checking account, but I am writing out her checks and paying her bills, with Mom signing the bottom of the checks. I went to the bank to ask that I be put on as an authorized signer as well so that I could sign the checks if Mom is unable to do so. The person at the bank said that someone should be listed on the account as a "co-owner" because if left the way it is when she dies the account would be frozen and no checks could be written on the account by anyone until her estate was settled. So my mother, who was present at the bank with me, said to go ahead and put me on as a "co-owner" of the account. We needed my sisters' signature on the new signature cards and when I asked her to sign the papers she went throught the roof and said she was resigning as Mom's POA as well. Don't we need her resignation in writing? Does Mom have to do new POA papers to choose who she wants to act as her POA? I am still willing to act as her POA as I am doing everything for her at this time. Do we need to see a lawyer?
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the stealth ways of obtaining poa are sickening. Prayers to all of you.
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Woah. POA has the final say but that power should be used when their is disagreement among people as to what to do/and/or if a decision had to be made at the bedside for example. Ideally, a family would always work together no only to brainstorm options but to arrive at a best decision for a loved one. THE POA does not have to act uni latterally and can involve everyone in the family...there just must be one legal voice when decision time comes. POA's should not be acting in the ways described in this thread so I would be concerned. Mom's surgeon told me to acquire poa prior to moms difficult surgery in 07; my sister refused to talk to me so mom and I had to proceed with out her; we couldn't delay mom having surgery ....so i was named poa with sister and her husband as back ups (without their consent since they were not talking to us but it made sense for mo's 2nd daughter to have the poa)....When i notified sister i was #1 an she was #2 she became angry...but she woulnt talk to us and I guess she just figured we would sit around and wait or sit around and argue with her...no...for mom's sake we did not sit around and had poa drawn. sister hasn't spoken to us in 6 years.
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My name was on my father's POA and I knew nothing about the POA until after he passed away. My Sister never told me that she had my father's draw up one and had both our names on it. There are decisions I would have made to stop their taking advantage of him!
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