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I can't believe how many are in the same boat I am. I am 32 and I take cre of my 81 going to be 82 year old mother. (there's a story there too long to tell) I am the youngest of six kids. I became my mother's full time caregiver when my father passed away in 04 though she did live with my sister for a year but then she decided she didn't want to live with her anymore and moved in with me and my oldest sister in 07. Older sister moved out so we had to find a different apartment as we lost our home when my other sister talked mom into signing it over to her brother in so he could renovate it so she could move home and he would pay the back taxes never happened and we ended up in a huge battle that split the family we are slowly getting back but still there is that whole thing that keeps everyone apart slightly.

My brother moved in over us and now I also watch his two kids along with taking care of mum. I am thankful in a way for the two kids as they help me as much as they can they lost their mom in 07 and I am basically besides their grandma only female they have regular contact with. But i digress Sometimes its a chore to get one of the siblings to help out now ... to take her to her doctors appointments or take us grocery shopping (I only have a learners permit no car) They act like its a chore and now that I might be getting help to pay me for taken care of mum they have a problem with it. They tell me to just get a regular job my question is what the hell do I do with mom ... yeah she goes to day care once or twice a week but that's only for 5 hours that's not long enough to go out and find a job and then there are days shes not up to going what do I do then tell them Oh I can't come in cause I have to watch mom . They don't realize that taking care of your parent is a FULL time 24/7 job. I had help last year for awhile till my nephew who doesn't work decided he didn't want to do it anymore. Said he couldn't deal with mom I was attending college to get my degree so I could get a good job so I could help mom out more but I had to drop out in October as I no longer had the help. Yes she goes to adult day care but they can only take her for so long in the day and more employers want you flexible which I can't be as mom is my top priority. I just get frustrated

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no its the veterans aid and attendence pension shes going to use to pay me. there is a whole story to go with why they treat me this way basically my moms really my bio grandmother .. my sister is my bio mother but MY mom is My mom ... has been sionce the day i was born. they resent me a bit cause i was a surpise or rather ... not biologicaly their sister ... yes mom is coharent she is the one that said that she wanted to go for it so that she coudl pay me to take care of her as no one else will step up. I Iive with her in an apartment that is in both our names ... I help with the bills the best I can but like i said what my brother pays me a month really doesn't cover much....and my siblings ask where all moms money goes lets see theres rent .. the utilties her meds other things that she needs and mom likes to watch tv so she has the all in one package from time warner because its more cost effective .... thankfuly in the summer our eletric bill is not that high ... .as we are otuside most of the time and don't have the heat on but its a ******* when its the winter ..... thank god for heap. Thank god for food stamps or we'd have no food in the house at all. I tried to get help with the rent ... when they asked why ... when i explained its hard to get a job and take care of mom .. the lady (who by the way got fired( told me just to put her in a home.. I lost my temper and left....
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It might be because you are the youngest they still think they can boss you around. If this national center (not sure what that is) is going to pay you, why would they care?
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jhynd, I was wondering if you've talked any of this stuff over with your mom. If she still has her wits, and it sounds like she does, then maybe she has some words of wisdom about the money aspect at least. Someone who has lived thru or during 'the depression' should know a thing or two about money. As long as the subject wouldn't push her over the edge so to speak, I'd pick her brain.
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I been talking to the national plan center ... mom is going for the aid and attence to pay me to take care of her. Put it this way we can't have anyone come in and take care of her daily ..one she doesn't like anyone else in her home. Two we can't afford it. .. They think I should do it for free ... which I would gladly do if we were handling all our bills right now we are barely staying a float... I get that they cant' take care of her themselves some of them have health problems of their own. I get that. I don't mind taking care of mom i actually enjoy on days I am not stressed out she's a joy to be around. we sit and talk play card games and she sits with me when I work on artwork on the computer. its jsut a bit much when I am just trying to help mom they treat me like dirt ... top it off I take care of two kids of my brothers ... so its not like I'd have time to get a job anyway. Yes he pays me twice a month but its not enough to cover all our bills. sigh.....
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Who is going to pay you for taking care of your mom? Is it coming from her account? If it is, I would find out how much it would cost for someone to come in daily to take care of her and show that bill to your siblings. Ask them if they want to divide up the days (everyone take a day so I can work the other 6 days) and if they don't want to do that, then tell them you being paid is cheaper.
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