Does anyone know if a mediator charges for the elderly, when sisters disagree about money and care?

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She is dead set against mother going to nursing home due to her getting over 3000.00 a month, fairly lucrative and I believe she just can't bring herself to do it either. That was a good suggestion about bringing her doctor in to talk with her or getting in touch with a local agency of the aging. I will try this. Mother has no advance directive though and my sister thinks she has all the power even though she works and leaves all the caregiving up to her husband and any one else that will do it in family but won't call in anyone who charges over 100.00/day. And no one can sit her who is not in the family.

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Likely a mediator will charge, much like a counselor would. However, you may find one pro bono if you contact your local social services or Agency on Aging. Considering that lack money is not an issue for your family, however, they likely will consider that you are in a position to pay the mediator. A mediator is a good step. Please try it if the family can't come to any agreement.
Take care,
Carol
I agree that a new way of looking at this needs to happen.
I am a Family Meeting Facilitator for families with elder care issues. The family meeting includes education, alignment,mediation, an action plan and creating a team out of struggling siblings. Typically, we have several meetings. Depending upon location of sibs, we will meet either in person or on a conference calls.
Sibs often must overcome old patterns of triggering behavior so that they can care for their family members. Stress that comes from bickering siblings is very hard on elderly parents, not to mention being hard on the siblings, themselves.
It is very possible to find a way for even the most difficult families to find a more peaceful way of being together so they can take good care of their elders.
Take care, CoachkarenC
It is cheaper to take care your parent at home. Nursing home care 13,000 a month and stay at home is about 7,000. They do not want to return your love ones back to the family one they get them. My father is in a nursing and they are giving him so many drugs. The state guardian has taking us away from the family going to care plan and doctors visits. My father wants us with him more the state said no. They took him family his friends at the VA so she can place him under one of her doctors. Please if all possible do not put your love ones in the nursing. Get help from a professional. I hope this information help.
I agree, a Mediator is the way to go. I am a mediator and I do elder mediation. Mediators charge anywhere from $150 to $500/hr depending. Some may work with you if you are in need or you might try to get someone new who wants the experience who might do it pro bono. There are many non profits who might be able to help you.
Sue
I agree with AskCoachKarenC that you and your family need a new way of looking at your current situation. I suggest locating your area's local caregiver alliance. Call them, make an appointment, get the disagreeing family members to meet there collectively with a counselor. This could help you and your family develop a team of family caregivers. Caregiving can be very stressful, exercise, do good things for yourself, take a peaceful stance, don't be negative, and by all means work it out, otherwise this family could end-up spending thousands of dollars in litigation, social workers, mediators, guardianships, etc., and that you don't want to do, I assure you, it could financially ruin your family, and has ruined many a bank account. If you sister and her husband are already taking care of your mother, and handling it in a healthy manner, then why in the world would you want to place your mother in a facility. Obviously your sister is the designated IHSS worker, so why are you wanting something else for your mother?

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