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My mother has been thru all 3 of us, her daughters. My dad has been gone for almost 2 years and she has done the same to us. Sits back and wants us to wait on her hand and foot. She stayed with my twin for 7 months and was with me while she was on vacation. My older sister during this week decided that mom would not go back to my twins house, but stay with ME. No discussion was made and I was told I would take on the responsibility. After 7 months of no help, I made the decision and told my older sister, I was taking mom back to her house or to hers. She is now wanting to sue me for Elder Abandonment. Can she do this as my mom is of sound mind? She cooked, cleaned, drove, paid all the bills up until the day Dad passed and then just quit. What are my opinions? I know can not go see my mother without being theatened that I will be arrested.

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I can't imagine that she could. If your mom is of sound mind and taking care of herself, she should be fine on her own. Don't let your sister bluff you. If you are afraid, ask an elder law attorney. Your mom is no more your responsibility than your siblings.
Take care of yourself,
Carol
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There ia much more here than what we are being told. The intra-sibling nastiness suggests long, deeply-rooted issues. And mom indeed seems to be enjoying the role of "family Machiavelli". If one of you goes to an elder law lawyer, then others may choose to do so and you'll be mired in unfriendly, unhappy, unproductive litigation.
You might all consider intra-family mediation to work out all the elements of this rather messy scenario. Mediation can be cheaper and faster than litigation and may provide a total settlement of all issues and not just some.

Michael
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Sounds like your mother has lost ler "will" to live since your father passed. She has no "meaning" to her life she may feel no reason to live. Just my first thoughts. Have you been to her doctor with her? Who has POA over her? Have you checked out AL facilities, do you think she is board?
Just a few thoughts.
Blessings,
Bridget
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Unless you had a contract with the family, I don't see how your sister would have any standing to sue. Now if you had left your mother in a park somewhere, it would be a criminal matter. That didn't happen. If no one is able to care for your mother, perhaps it would be best to look into either independent or assisted living in a senior community.
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Added on -- or if she is doing fine at her house, maybe some home care would do the trick.
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Normally POA only comes into play if your mother is not competent to make decisions. If your mother says yes to meals on wheels and yes to some house cleaning and hygiene help, her word should carry. There may be some legalities that I don't know, but it is usually how POAs work. If your mother has not been ruled to be incompetent, she should be able to spend her money as she chooses. It's her money.
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If she wants to stay in her home, she may be willing to do the things that helps keep her there. That may be the ace that you hold. I do think it important that your mother be given as much control as possible over what she wants. If she is unable to decide, your sister's POA is important. However, your sister does not have the power to move your mother in with you against your wishes. There are other options.
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Agree on all accounts. My sister is considering herself attorney-in-fact and wants some of the grandchildren to return items that were given to them by mom. However, you have to understand my mom is playing all of us against each other. She is very bitter and undecisive in some of her dealings. Yes, give 1 minute and then wants it back the next. I think this has something to do more with her time of growing up (depression era on) than her not being of sound mind. She had never spent the night alone until dad passed. When they married they even lived with my grandparents for awhile and she has never been alone and does not know how to. I think this is our biggest hurdle to overcome.
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Thanks for all the helping and supportive answers !!! It's nice to know that I am not alone.
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My sister moved in with me to be a caregiver. She was very active when her older girls were here for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Since then she is bed all day except to pick up her 9-year-old. I never see her until then. We have been in quite a few quarrels, ending up in things that should have not been said. Her 9-year-old was sent out to spy on things and would not move from her couch. She even scooted the footstools when I walked by. My sister has not paid one cent to live here, she is on Link and gets $500 Social Security. We try to be civil but it is very stressful. I want her to leave. Although I saved her from being homeless, no other member would take her, even her own twin. The 9-year-old weighs 186 and is eating us out of house and home. She is very stubborn yet we are friends. I am 62 and my sister is 53. She is due to have back surgery April 1. Due to prior evictions she cannot find a place to live. Please help me. I am in a wheelchair part-time.
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