How do I deal with my sister who constantly bad mouths her other sisters for refusing to help take care of their mother?
I am one of 4 sisters, all very close in age, with a 90 year old Mother who has Alzheimer's. After living and caring for our Mom, house and yard on and off for 7 years, it became apparent that she would need more care than I could give her. Three of the sisters met, and discussed a letter that I had written to Mom's doctor regarding her changing behavior that indicated she was depressed. My younger sisters and I were concerned about leaving her alone, so our older sister chose to move from out-of-state and care for her for 2 years, or at such time she might have to go into a nursing facility. After the 2 year mark, our sister "chose" to stay on with Mom, since she thought she was "too old" to find work (my sister, not my Mom!). At that time, she started treating us like "deadbeat siblings" for not taking over the care-taking responsibilities, even though none of us were in a position to do so. She has made it impossible for us to visit Mom because of her nasty attitude while we're there, but will allow neighbors and grandchildren to visit whenever they want. Not a day goes by that she doesn't vent on sites such as this, and fabricates remarks about us. This has been extremely hurtful to us, especially my younger sister who loves Mom dearly. It has split our family apart to the point where I will never forgive my sister for her treatment of us. Has anyone else been put into this situation? I'd love to hear from you.