How do you deal with an elderly father who won't participate in holiday dinners that involve other people?
My boyfriend suggested that we do a big "family" Thanksgiving dinner at his house with his parents and my father and my handicapped sister. I mentioned this to my father and he said he was done "trucking around" for holiday dinners, that he did that for years and was done with it. The last time there was a big family holiday dinner was 30 years ago. This is a chance for him to meet my boyfriends parents and he says he doesn't want to meet anyone. My boyfriend already has solidified plans with his parents to come over. Since my father refuses to, I now am cooking two Thanksgiving dinners - one at my father's and one at mine and my boyfriend's home. My father has now invited his brother down and said he doesn't know what time he'll arrive. I told my dad he needs to let his brother know dinner will be served at 1PM so that I can finish cooking for dinner at 5 PM at home. My father said, "well he'll get here when he gets here" and "THIS is your family" and I pointed out how my boyfriend and his parents are my future family and I really want him to meet them. Then he switched topics and said I don't do anything for him besides helping him pay his bills. He said I don't clean his house. I offered many times to hire a cleaning service. I told him I work 45 hours a week. I'm not sure how to handle him and I'm dreading Christmas and how he's going to be for that. He's 69, is extremely mobile, but won't do anything other than complain he has no money and watch TV.