How can I deal with mother's refusal to eat?

Is there any food,candy,icecream, cake etc that she used to love? I was able to get one of my elderly patients to eat by bringing him a homemade peach cobbler and taking him outside under the apple tree to eat it. He had not been out of his room for 4 years. I started by reminising about his childhood and the things he did as a kid, asked him about what foods he missed and on the next visit, brought him a homemade peach cobbler.I spent 3 hours talking about growing up in the South and the kinds of thngs kids did in his day, mischief he got into etc. I was peeling apples and he started asking me for slices and eating them. He had apple pie for dinner and after that started participating in life again. Sometimes a kitten or puppy brought for a visit along with a treat will stimulate them to see that life can still be good. Asking about the things they wish they wish they could do or miss doing helps sometimes, especially if there is a way to arrange for them to do it. Amusing audio books from the library can often lift their spirits.(Erma Bombeck is a good choice for women) Hot fudge sundaes and hmebaked cookies will sometimes work. Sweet is the last taste to go.Start with sweet things if she ever liked any kind of sweet. It should be home-made with as much flavor as possible. As for the shakes etc, I would try a home made one with real milk and icecream and possibly real frozen fruit. Ensure and that sort of thing simply are not as good. A banana split might work, or real hot chocolate, made the old fashioned way with real cocoa, sugar and half cream. Top it with a marshmallow. Basically, go back to the treats of her childhood. Corn syrup and soybean oil are not the same taste as sugar and butter and often leave a "chemical" after taste, so be sure to give her "real" home-made stuff instead of prepared food from a box or the supermarket. Good luck. Sometimes you have to start with just a few spoonfuls to rebuild the appetite. But do start with the treats and bring them along hot from the oven as a part of your visit and share them with her as you talk about her childhood.

My mother doesn't eat well either the ALF where she is has to give her medication to make her want to eat, she still doesn't eat well. I am trying to get her released to live with me but am running into roadblocks with the court system they want to keep her their against her will. They know my mother wants to live with me and I could care for her much better. My mother is depressed this is why she doesn't eat well, I don't know what to do. Her court guardian is unethical and is not working in my mother's best interest. I have found continual lies between the guardian and the owner of the facility all to keep my mother there. I need to know my rights as a daughter.

were was your mom living before? She is upset because she is in a different
place.When my mom was in rehab she did the same thing

What a loving, thoughtful "sweet" solution, I hope it works. You have given me ideas in helping my Mom find ways to remember what she might like to be doing when you mentioned asking what things they miss or wish they could be doing. My Mom doesn't have a lot of energy and doesn't instigate anything but when I take her out or create an activity she does enjoy it. I'm sometimes at a loss when trying to think of things which might inspire her but it actually doesn't take much.

Try putting her on Remeron. Not only is it an antidepressant which she evidently is suffering from, but it is also an appetite stim. in the elderly and safer than Megace. You start with 1/2 pill (7 mg) and increase in a few days to 15. Then up to 30 if needed. It takes about 2 weeks but I was equally desperate with my mom and it's starting to work. Good luck.

JudyJudy-what a sweet caregiver you are!
Abby33-Have you asked her why she thinks it will hurt her to eat? My MIL had a 911/ICU situation due to C-Diff infection. When she was healing she needed to eat real food but refused, combatively saying it would hurt her. What she was remembering was a visitor snuck food in and fed her soup--WITH AN N/G TUBE IN, so MIL had a horrible, near fatal setback. Due to the setback a different antibiotic was used (I had the same antibiotic through PICC so I could talk to her first hand) and it makes taste and smell have sulfuric odor & taste. Once I explained her fears and what she was basing them on was real, she agreed to try to eat. Starting with a couple bites a day, now she is in REHAB eating up a storm. We have to remember that even though their complaints seem unfounded to us, 99% of the time there is a valid reason behind them.....to them. Keep plugging away Abby....you have a great heart for her.

If she likes ice cream, give it to her.

Forgot to mention - my mom told me that her taste buds get "bored" easily so I am always trying to come up with something to stimulate them. She loves anything with barbecue sauce (for now) and spices that have zing to them (in addition to sweets) she will eat up. I've heard that the taste buds do dull as they get older.

They (hospice) tell me when mom is nearing her time. She will refuse to eat or have no taste at all. She will also forget how to swallow. I'm sorry that this is getting hard. But she obviously has some indication to what is happening to her. God Bless.

My mom wouldn't eat a thing when she first came to live with me. I bought her ensure and mixed it with whole milk, that is all she would eat. after several weeks, she was in my car and I stopped at a fast food place and ordered a sliced beef sandwich. She smelled it in the bag and grabbed it, peeled off the wrapper and chomped it down like she was starving. The smell of the food was what enticed her to eat. She was on some medication that makes her taste buds dull. When I cook at home, she always want me to put just a little honey on everything, and she eats it up. Her favorite food is french toast with syrup. She actually ate two pieces this morning. Also, she won't eat much if I am watching her. But when I leave the room, she gobbles up the food.