How do you deal with a parent who lies and lives in a fantasy world, but isn't diagnosed with dementia?
My 89 year old mother constantly lies to me about her financials. She recently told me that she was charged $600 by her lawn care people to rake her lawn, when in reality the amount was for 6 months of lawn care, she told me she was charged $145 to have her driveway plowed once, which in reality was for three plowings. She is late paying her property taxes because the reality is
she spends about $650 per month on average on QVC purchases, and gives my schizophrenic sister around $600 per month in cash.
I confronted her on this and she had a meltdown and denied everything. I visited her for Christmas and brought her a white poinsettia, and an apple pie. She said to me that she gave me $120, and I gave her nothing.
I told her she should be spending her money on improving the safety of her home, and having someone come in to help her do her housework once or twice a week, rather than spending it on junk food from QVC - she buys lots of candied apples, and other very unhealthy processed food from them and ends up giving them away to people she barely knows.
She got extremely angry with me and told me she can do what ever she wants with her money and was planning on changing her will to write me out of it.
I have spent the last 4 years taking her to her doctor appointments and modifying her house to make it safer for her. I work very closely with the visiting nurses she been assigned during a bout of gout, leg infections, etc. She always fights with them, and accuses them of stealing from her.
She is completely incapable of acknowledging the things I've done for her. I am now choosing to stay away from her, because she only seems interested in telling lies, living in denial and fighting.
When I question her choices she always gets very mean.