Is anyone else medicating themselves with food?

We could almost be the same person. I have gained over 50 pounds in the last 3 years while dealing with separation from husband, mother in nursing home, daughter and her husband divorced, son and his wife separated, fell and broke right elbow, legal issues, car was rear-ended in August leaving me with unpaid medical bills...and I clearly understand where you are coming from. I leave for work at 6:30am and get home after an 11 hour day. I drag myself up the stairs and plop down on the sofa. I don't want to do anything. I don't want the phone to ring because I am soooo tired. I go from the sofa to the fridge, then on computer and Facebook for several hours while eating God only knows what. I ate almost a whole large pizza the other night and then I wonder why I can't wear any of my clothes. I am an emotional eater, who eats whether I am happy or sad. I am now close to the 300 pound mark....pity party is what I do best. If I don't lose some weight and soon, I am going to have a stroke or heart attack. But, I have found that when I am helping others, that is when I don't dwell on the negative. Seeing that there are folks who have bigger health, marital, and other major issues helps me to take a closer look at myself. I volunteer at the nursing home on a rare occasion, and when I do I see how those little residents appreciate anyone who gives them attention. They are so sweet and have so much to offer. There may be an agency that offers free exercise classes. The town in which I live offers women's exercise classes, support groups and much more. I believe you could benefit from such activities...hang in there cause you can do it!!!!

HI ringo and miz - would just encourage both of you and the others to take even small steps to look after yourself. There is a void after losing a loved one, there is a change after taking some one into your home. Either way it is stressful and can take a toll on your health,
miz i retired a year ago and felt a void too - though do not have the grieving you do, but it is still a big adjustment and has taken about a year for me to refocus

I lost my youngest son at age 23 nearly 9 years ago and after suriving the first period of shock I realised that I had to start looking after myself better -and eating better was high up on the list

you can do it!

thx Ringo - so had to have that junk food in the house - sounds like a little bit of depression - a real demotivator - I guess the best motivation is just to be the best you that you can be - for your own sake cause you are worth it (((((hugs))))))

I started eating badly when my father first went into the hospital a two years ago. I left my teaching job in the afternoon, ate to have energy at the hospital, and then ate to stay awake to drive home and grade papers. Since he passed away, I was exhausted until this summer and ate badly. I have started eating smaller portions, and make better choices at the grocery store. The best part has been walking. The weight has been very slowly coming off but it is coming off. I think my father would expect it of me. We forget we are of value because we are all so busy. Hang in there! Rebecca

Since I been looking after mom for the last 2yrs I have gained 50lbs+ carrying that extra weight is making me more exhausted than ever. I "graze" all day long. When mom has bad nights I eat to say awake. I can't stop. It has became so habit that I don't even realize how much I am eating. I also smoke. I used to be a very light smoker but now I am running outside every little bit for a puff or two. I am smoking a pack a day. Which that is money we don't have. But the stress at times and feelings of being alone, food and cigarettes are my best friend. Taking care of mom, chasing after kids, trying to spend time with husband, doing housework, maintaining an arce+ lawn, cleaning the pool, weeding the flower beds and the garden is all in a days work!!! What makes it even more difficult, my moms house has a finished basement also. Thats where hubby and kids retreat too. My parents made a kitchen as well in the finished basement, so that is 2 kitchens that I have got to cleanup. I feel as though I am cleaning up two households.
My hubby does try. But I get so caught up in my role that I don't appreciate and really don't respect the help. My hubby tries to encourage me to walk on treadmill but I feel insulted. I feel thats his way of saying "hey your fat"
I have no drive to take care of myself and don't know how to fix it!!!!

Hi Lilli,
I find myself going from eating too many sweets to then depriving myself. I was walking every day 3-5 miles, then I got enflamed nerves in my feet--which is probably stress-related, too--so I have had to stop. I put on my shoes and forced myself the other day, and suffered very badly the next. It's not that I don't want to walk, or eat healthy, or exercise, or lift weights, or be a tea-totaller, but I am weak.
Paul said it best, "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak". If he couldn't do it, then that's no excuse, but it is a good illustration that we must learn to forgive ourselves, give ourselves a healthy treat whenever we can, and keep trying.
By the way, almost every morning when my Mother wakes up the first time and I take her to the bathroom, clean her up, change her Depends, put powder on her to feel better, change her nightgown, give her before breakfast meds and all the water she wants, then put her back to bed, I tell her, "We'll get up in a while. First, I need to do a few things for myself." I mean, get a cup of uninterrupted coffee, walk outside to look at my garden, feed the cat, set things up for her breakfast, and sometimes just sit and watch the news for a moment. She gets that look on her face, and sometimes says, "what about me?" But, I have just done more for her than I do for myself in a day, and it can't be all about her, all of the time. I KNOW THAT. SHE DOESN'T. I do what I need to do, when I need to do it, and I do not like listening to her incessant whining first thing in the morning, but that's how she is now. (The new med, Zyprexa, is helping a lot! She is more positive and calm, but she is having a hard time finding the right words.)
Bottom line on diet, in my experience: eat lots of protein: tuna, sardines, turkey, chicken breast, lots of fresh greens, no dressing just lemon juice and a bit of olive oil, don't eat bread, rice or pasta, have a baked potato once in a while with salsa or chili, but no butter, sour cream, or cheese, eat a cup of vegies at lunch and dinner with your salad and protein, (don't eat cheese !!!) no alcohol, or maybe just one glass :) eat berries for dessert, eat fruit in the morning, no extra sugar, drink lots of water, about 90 ounces a day. Every morning I start out with that mind set--some days it works, other days I fail. Then I try again:) Love, Christina

Christina: No cheese????? Really? Ya' just broke my heart.

Thank you all for the motivation...makes me feel like I am living in less of a caregiving "vacuum." I have my treadmill right here in my office, just sitting there and making me feel guilty. So I just have to dust it off and get to it.

I know what you are saying about ailments that prevent you from starting. I have had so many knee and foot problems - but it is due to the weight - vicious circle. I have never been this unhealthy. But this year I am committed to making good changes for myself. I will let you know how it went on Dec. 31st :o)

Oh yes the weight - 30 lbs here over the last year. I think it is a combination of stress and probably too many calories! My Mums - who is 110lbs soaking wet - eats constantly. She is grazing all day and then want the 3 meals also. It is driving me mad. Here she is all focused on eating and I am the one carrying the extra weight. This may sound really vain but the weight gain is one of the hardest things that I have to go thru. No clothes fit well, my knee hurts and I look like a block of cheese. When I say my prayers at night and pray for patience during this time I usually add "Did I have to get fat on top of everything else"? hahaha - good to know I am not the only one.

When my sweet mom was alive she ate like a Super Model! ... and I was always trying to lose weight. It was ridiculous... we would just laugh about it.

I was always looking for meatloaf and macaroni and cheese recipes for her and I would cook up a wonderful cheesy beefy pasta or lasagna and she would sit down to eat it, but I had been cooking and driving to her house (sitting) all day and I just could hardly eat with her....

I felt like I was losing my mind sometimes. Now that she is gone, I clearly munch too much. It's no one's fault but my own. I fall for every goodie that anyone offers me, but not anymore. For New Year's I am going to say I have a health 'issue' and refuse the offers.

I am determined to start eating like a ... Super Model! :-) Vegetables and fruits galore!!

I am so glad to read that I am not the only one with these sorts of problems. I used to be very particular about my looks also, but working and caregiving takes up literally all of my day. I want to exercise, but literally have no time to do so. I keep thinking someday... but I really don't want to wish my life away. There has got to be a solution!