Does anyone know of a few good self help books?

Asked by

I've found that I have totally lost myself over the years while devoting so much of myself caring for my mother and I can honestly say that I miss "me". All that I have left of me are the distant memories of how I used to be, and its left me feeling so empty inside. I am in my mid 50s and feel like an empty shell. I dont know how to even start getting my life back on track so that I can feel alive again.

Does anyone know of any self help book that might be of some help?

Answers 1 to 10 of 14
Top Answer
Hello, I so relate. I was talking to my friend last night and she loaned me a book entitled Boundaries (When to Say Yes, When to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life) by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. I just started reading it this morning in preparation for setting boundaries with my parents. Wishing you the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have read that that is a very good book. Let us know what you think of it. There is a website that many here have found helpful - google "daughtersofnarcissiticmothers" and you will find much that applies. I don't agree with the author that EFT is THE successful way to heal, but the rest is really good. There is a book with a workbook called "Stop walking on Eggshells" Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger. I believe there is a free ebook, but not the workbook, at ebookee dot org.
A caregiver can become codependent by overextending themselves, so reading about that would be helpful. I really like Melody Beattie's writing e.g. Codependent No More. She has written others.
Good for you for taking these steps towards your healing. Do you have a therapist/counsellor? I have found that counselling is very helpful.
Be sure to take time for you every day.
Good luck and keep in touch.
Hugs and prayers - Joan
I understand how you feel. Please don't ignore yourself. These feelings can serve as a warning that you need to do things differently now.

I am reading Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. I highly recommend it! You will be stronger when you put their principles into practice.

Please keep in touch. We're here for you. Hang in there!
The Tools.... ByPhil Stutz and Barry Michels
Hi Jasmine - you have had some really good suggestions already. I heartily endorse the Boundaries book as well as Codependent No More by Melody Beattie, In fact check out all of Melody Beattie's books as she also has workbooks. A book that relates directly to the effects of caregiving is Passages in Caregiving by Gail Sheehy. I bought it recently and it addressed the very issues you speak of. Like you I felt I was losing myself. Hang in there!
I have had the pleasure on being a mentor and motivational speaker for over forty years. I have found that the book Tao Te Ching to be the best book in helping people looked at life in a different way. The first writing was over twenty-five hundred five hundred years ago. It will explain the most basic questions people have. 1. Why am I here? 2. Where am I going? And at one point in life, how long do I have left? I found that the book Change Your Thoughts, change your life by Wyane Dyer to be the easiest to understand. You can order a hard book used copy on Amazon for around $10. Vinnie
Boundaries is great and so is the old standby by Melody Beattie "Co-Dependent No More". I was given that one over 23 years ago while going through my divorce. Also, I like the "Life Application Bible". Same Bible, but it walks you through the readings and then applies what you just read to how it affects your life now. The daily readings ground my husband and me.
Joyce Myers books are inspirational and funny! She is a truth-speaker that gets you laughing at the ridiculous and wild things we do and think...then she gets you headed in the right direction. Warning: focusing on SELF too much has a negative effect that turns into bitterness and greed. Look out and UP. Very difficult to do when grieving (been there) but really, it's the only thing that works.
Depends on what kind of help you need? ;)
Having worked with my husband and his chronic depression and PTSD, we were both given 2 books that were outstanding. Both books are a years old, but always worth reading again and again; 1) Who Moved My Cheese? 2) Feeling Good, both available for very little on Amazon.
I do feel your pain. I am the primary caregiver for my husband, grand daughter, daughter (recent double mastectomy), my father (multimorbidities) and my mother, physical and mental disabilities. I've been caring off and on for my mother for the past 32 years.

Share your answer

Please enter your Answer

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support