How can I say no to my mother who is in a nursing home?

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mother has been in a nursing home for about a year now. she has broken many bones, hip, leg, ankle etc. She has been in a wheelchair for many years, but did manage to live independently. She had hip surgery last nov. when she contracted c diff which she has never recovered. She has multiple medical problems, which I won't go into. She is a widow and lives just across the way from me. I am the only caregiver. She is determined to leave the nursing home and come home. My mother's mind is still sharp as a tack, it is just all of her mobility is gone. I work 12 hours a day and cannot look after her. The doctor said she needs 24/7 care. What can I do? The care she needs would cost more at home than the nursing home. How can I make her understand and keep my sanity? Any help is appreciated.

Answers 1 to 2 of 2
Geeez I know the feeling...my mom is 86 and is getting more feeble and states she is bored (narcissitic ploy), and refuses to go to a NH. Same issue a NH is cheaper than 24/7 home care. Since you have her in a safe spot I would not budge...what do these old crazy folks think...they are going to miracously get better and live another 10 years. I think it's the self survival that kicks in and overides any intelligent rational thinking. I don't have any kids...who can I run back to...no one.
I agree, she's better off where she is as long as she is safe and being taken care of. In this day and age we have better options for which we are wise to use them. Sounds like you've made the right choice for you both and she may never understand or admit to understanding it. Tell her how it makes you feel to be forced to make such decisions, but let her know you're doing it out of love and care. I know! My Dad is the same way, every visit all I hear is when am I going home, I could do "this" at home. He needs 24/7 care which we can't afford at home.
You did the right thing under the circumstances.

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