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She says she is being mentally abused, and the poa won't give her any money. Is there a way my sister and I can get it revoked? How do we know she is not also stealing from my mother, who has alot of money. My sister will nort commuinicate with us excpet through a lawyer, and will not allow my mom to call us. When we call you mom, she is desperate to get out from under her control. How can we help our mom? Can we make sure she is not draining my moms assest for her own benefit? She has already taken her away to NC and put her in an assister living home. Just yesderday, she had a estate sale and made us pay for the precious treasures from my mothers home. Yet, she has taken what she wanted. She is not abiding by my mothers wishes, and my mother is desperate to come back to Atl and live closer to her two children and grandchildren. Please, tell me what I need to do.

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i wonder if the poa is valid since your mom was diagnosed first, and she signed over poa after the diagnoisis
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@nolansk (or anyone else who may know):

what legal re courses can you take if you know an agent(family member who has POA) is taking mothers money for themselves?

i know that family member will not agree to accounting of their activities.

Will the bank release an accounting of all transactions to a family member who does not have POA?

Will they just give over all transactions apon demand?

Concerned family members need accounting of POA activities to submit to attorney or court or APS as Mother is frightened of POA family member and will not revoke POA as she fears for her safety.
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musicgirl Hope you keep us updated?
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I have a masters in gerontology, with a paralegal degree. Another individual did make a good suggestion. You can contact adult protective services to investigate the matter. You can contact an attorney and request adult protective services to push for a competency hearing for your mother. Dementia patients can develop paranoia, so her perception is that she is being abused when, in fact, she is not being abused. Once she has been deemed to have all her faculties, a written revocation can be filled out and signed, and a new power of attorney can be appointed. If it is discovered that she is being abused, you can have a guardian appointed, which will protect your mother's rights and will also maintain some neutrality in the situation between your siblings. This would show that your mother's interest is your main focus. Here is a link that you can provide an attorney with (which should be an attorney retained in the state your mother is living in).

Situations like this can be difficult, but perservere and don't waste time arguing. Once you get adult protective services involved, you have to follow up with a lawyer. Don't let time elapse. If you cannot afford an attorney, discuss this with adult protective services to make sure she has proper representation. All things go hand-in-hand: adult protective services, an attorney and a competency hearing.
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I have another comment to add to my earlier post.

Just because your Mother signed a POA which allowed another person to act on her behalf does not mean that she does not have the right to manage, spend, sell, buy anything she owns or wants to own or sell. (Unless the POA specifically takes that right away and this would be most unusual) Your Mother DOES NOT need permission from the POA holder to handle her own affairs unless she has been declared incompetent by a court..

I've been following the string of comments on this situation and some points concerning your Mom's mental condition MAY be valid. The only way to find out is to physically visit and evaluate for yourself how your Mom is doing. That being said the fact that you have been cut off from communication with your Mother by other family members raises a huge flag that something is amiss.

You can demand an accounting from the designated person holding the POA detailing how your Mother's funds are being managed. There are legal re courses you can take if you feel that some sort of fraudulent activity has taken place. Again I strongly urge you to contact the bank both by phone and followed up by certified mail where you mom's account is held and demand an accounting (essentially an audit) of the account's activity.

I'm so sorry that you must go through this, and that it is most likely going to cause a rift in your relationship with your family that may never heal, but the most important thing here is that your Mom's finances are protected so she can be taken care of in the best way affordable.

I feel for you and will keep you and your family in my prayers, Remember this, your health and relationship within your household are the most important thing to have.If you are not at peace with yourself you cannot help your Mom in her time of need. (I know, easier said than done).

Take care, and be Well, Sue
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I'm a bit confused. You said your mom is living in AL, but your sister won't allow her to call you. You can call your mom however. Is that right? My suggestion would be that you fly to NC and spend some time visiting your mom in AL. If your mom wants to revoke the POA and give a new one to you, then she can. However, as you said, her state of mind might be an issue. Do call APS.
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Your Mom has the right to revoke the POA at anytime, and a Lawyer is not required for her to do it. Yes your sister will be P.. off when she does it, but it sounds to me like your Mom has been moved into an abusive situation and I totally support all the comments advising you to contact the Adult Protective Services, or the Elder Care Service Organization in the State where she is living. Your sister is putting herself in a prickly situation by not letting your Mom talk to the rest of her family. She could be charged with domestic abuse the same way as between a husband and wife.

Get her out of there as soon as you can. Try to get a message to her that tells her that she can revoke the POA just by writing a letter and giving it to the appropriate authorities starting with the bank. Banks are very picky about POAs to begin with and if you raise a question that your sister is abusing her authority they will most definitely stop honoring the POA until the situation is resolved. Good Luck to you, and please, write a post to let us know how you make out.

Be well, Sue
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PS your moms comments sound typical of a person in beginnings of demtentia/alz thou and she probablyis just fine, they al say those things in the beginning it seems.
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unfortunately, no lawyer is going to put his reputaion and liscense on the line and will say your mother was incompetent, changing the POA is nearly impossible. but, as POA she is legally held liable for how she handles the money. Yes call APS and get a lawyer on it. you can always go over her by petitioning for guardianship.
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Help I have no.money to hire,someone.my brother keeps her check and when she needs something he can barber be found.l take het to all her appts.she 86 her bank statrement goes to his address he will not let me see them.
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Fight the fight if you can. Adult protective services: report elder fiduiary abuse. If they will investigte it will be a whole lot cheaper than getting an elder law attorney. Please let us know the outcome. This is just awful. My prayers are with you
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In North Carolina, POAs (the documents) have to be registered in the county where the elder and their POA live. Google "Registrar of Deeds" along with the county name and you should be able to click on a link that will take you to their website. You can search under your mother's name for any legal documents that are required by law to be registered on their website for free. You should be able to both view and print any POA with your mother's name on it, along with any deed changes, online. Then, either send it via snail mail to APS or fax it to them after you've spoken with them.

Please do it now. If I'd known what was in my aunt's POA before she passed away, I'd have called the authorities and asked them to take a look into her care and her finances.
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Wow, Yes call Adult Protective Services, what great advice!
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I had the exact same experience in January 2011. Please don't hesitate to call your local protective services division and explain that you think elderly financial explotation has been happening. My mom had dementia and my sister hid all her money and nevey told anyone including my mom where it was or how much she had. She had it in 5 different accounts to hide from me. Protective services interviewed my mother and said even though she has dementia she was totally capable of knowing about her finances and wanted her money returned. She wanted her brother made POA to protect her. Protective services got all the bank statements and doctors reports and investigated my sister. She spoke with her and my sister was ordered to turn over all money to my uncle and relinquish her POA as my mother no longer wanted her. They will help you free of charge to protect the elderly. Please don't hesitate. All it takes is a phone call to protect what rightfully belongs to your mom. Good Luck.
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Contact the Adult Protective Services of the state she is in immediately. Get an eldercare attorney if you haven't already. You are in for a battle, even though it is illegal to have had someone execute a POA while incompetent. It is POSSIBLE that she is more confused than abused, but if your mother's wishes are in writing, even with a legitimate POA, if the person who has it is clearly not abiding by them, they can have that revoked. Do you have copies of the actual documents? (Do you hav an airtight case?) The crossing of state lines has probably made it easier for sister to avoid your involvement, and significant damage may already have been done if the intent was in fact to get assets, but maybe something will be left and at least you can be back in Mom's life if the authorities agree. At least you know something is going toward Mom's care in the assisted living - there have been situations of serious neglect when a sibing has pulled someone out of care and just used their money for whatever...let us know what you find out and what happens!
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Yes, very much so. She lived here in Atlanta with us. Now she is in a strange place, and miserable. My sister took care of her every need, and my wife and I had my mom over several times a week to spend the night.
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I Just got one question what led up to your mother moving to NC with your sister? Was you & your other sister involved before she moved?
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