Can I resign from work to take care of my elderly mother?

Alright ...anything is alright if you can swing it financially and emotionally. How much care does she require, can u focus on the home based business while she is there, will she be calling you every 10 minutes?

You might want to consider taking a leave of absence instead of resigning. Talk with the human resource department where you work to look into a "Family Medical Leave". You may have to do some work with her doctor to document that your mom needs your help in order to stay safely at home, but it may be beneficial for you to have a job to go back to if things don't go as smoothly as you are planning. Good luck.

In today's economy, I'd say be thankful and hold on to any job you have as well as look for other ways to take care of your elderly mother first.

TRY MAKING A LIST OF PROS AND CONS
WILL YOU BE LOSING YOUR PENSION
CAN YOU FINANCIALLY AFFORD TO STAY HOME
HOW MUCH CARE DOES YOUR MOTHER REQUIRE
IT SOUNDS AS IF YOU'D REALLY LIKE TO DO THIS, IF THE PROS WORK I'D SAY GO FOR IT, I'D LOVE TO STAY HOME AND CARE FOR MY MOTHER IF SHE NEEDED ME, GOOD LUCK

My parents are both elderly 85 and 82, they live in their own home in a retirerment community. Dad has numerous health issues hypertension, diabetes, lose of vision, however his mind is fine. My Mother on the other hand is very healthy except for osteoporosis and early dementia. I take them to the Dr and try to help them with out smothering them. I plan to take a leave from work when they need more care. I think most folks would rather have someone they know and love care for them.

I think it's wonderful that you've considered quitting your job and taking care of your mom. What you do have to consider is your job your chance to remain in touch with yourself? I also considered quitting and taking care of my mom but I've come to realize that caregiving is a huge task and my job gives me the chance to remain in touch with myself as a person. I agree that maybe a leave of absence might be a better option.

Our moms are really special people and we've been truly blessed have them in our lives.

Marissa,

I apologize for not reading your profile before I wrote my comment. I see you are a single mom and an only child who evidently has been taking care of mom since you were 20. My, my. You are definitely sandwiched between being a mother and a care giver for your mother.

In light of all that, the nice idea of quitting your job does not sound reasonable. Do you have Durable, Medical or Durable POA for your mother? If not, you need to get those by seeing an atty.

Your mother possibly qualifies for medicaid and the help it would pay for.

Check to see if Family Medical Leave (FMLA) is available from your work or state. Take a leave and see what "not working" (caregiving is work) is like. Remember that you must take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else (cliche but true). While "not working" investigate what goverrnment programs are available to your mother. In California there is In Home Support Services that will pay for some domestic, caregiving and supervisory services. Also remember that the economic climate now makes re-entering the workforce more diificult. Take your time, look at all options and scenarios, then choose what is best for BOTH you and your mom.

Wow such good answers...To me the first thing coming to mind is 'the family medical leave act' however depending on your employment situation-and the economy, I would check this out-but cautiously, as job security seems not what it use to be.

Good Luck!

Hap

I did exactly that on August 31, 2009. My dad is 93 years of age in pretty good health, but he was ill twice earlier in the year and I had a lot of trouble getting away from my job to be with him when he had a heart attack and later a pacemaker. I have not regretted it for one minute, however, we are very busy and he is very clingy. I am so thankful to be here to monitor him and be assured his meds are taken correctly and that he has a balanced meal with me every day and he never has to be alone again. This is the happiest time of my life.

I resigned from my job June 24,2009 to care for my 81 yr old mother who has several medical including -COPD, congestive heart failure, Atrial fib/pacemaker & a heart attack. It took me several months of debating whether or not to resign, (which looks better on your resume than getting fired) & weighing the pros & cons - a very hard decision to make beause of the economic situation, health insurance & etc. However, God blessed us with a very speical gift called a mother & I felt the greatest thing I would benefit from was being with & caring for my ailing mom versus fighting the politics at the proessional company office I worked for. The FMLA (family medical leave of abcense) is a good start. Word of caution - check with your Human Resouces very closely re: all eligible benefits you will be able to continue after you resign.

You will not be eligible for unemployment if you quit.

I do not know what is available in your state, but for California workers covered by State Disability Insurance, Paid Family Leave (PFL) insurance provides up to six weeks of benefits for individuals who must take time off to care for a seriously ill child, spouse, parent, or registered domestic partner, or to bond with a new minor child. Here are a couple of web sites to help you start,

http://www.edd.ca.gov/Disability/Paid_Family_Leave.htm

http://www.dol.gov/dol/topic/benefits-leave/fmla.htm

Your state (if not CA) may have a similar program. Also you should check with HR at your job to see if any income is provided while on FMLA.

If you quit your job the long term financial consequences could mean that you are not financially secure in YOUR OLD AGE. Would our Mom want that? Is there some way you can take a leave of absence, go to part time or work from home? Can you hire a care giver to help her when you're at work? Look at all the financial pros and cons - don't forget you might be able to deduct her from your taxes as a dependent which could help off set the cost of a care giver. Also consider the emotional toll on you, your spouse and kids. See your county area agency on aging for their advice and input. They might have other recommendations so that you can continue to work and help your mom. good luck.

LynnP0,

Marissa's profile states that she's 38, a single mom with a daughter and has been taking care of her mom since she was 20 and her income is all that there is. So if she quits her job, then there is no income for taking care of her daughter, her mother or herself.

Sometimes I fail to look at a person's profile before I respond and this was one of those times.

I left my job and moved in with Dad when he had a stroke..after being in two assisted living facilities, being home with him has worked out the best. I am not saying it isn't hard..it is the most difficult job I have ever had...but also most rewarding. I have managed to work some part time jobs here and there. If you can work from home..great..do that...and get some one in to stay with your Mom on days that you will need a break to go out and do things.. That is what I do and it works out well. Good luck to you!

I know exactly the decision that you are trying to make. I have been in a State job for the last 21 years. I was very fortunate that when my dad got sick and died, I had enough leave to cover my being out of work to take care of him and my mother for almost 3 months. After he died, we moved my mom in with us (she has AD). I want to spend every day with her, taking care of her myself, but I had so much invested in all those years of work that I didn't feel that I could. I'm an only child and daddy left me some money and properties, so I am able to have someone with her while I work. God has been so good to us, because my prayer has been that I could take care of them. I have 2 wonderful sitters who work out the days that they can take care of her and I work 4 or 5 days a week and plan to retire in 2 more years. It is not wrong for you to resign your job to take care of your mom, just be sure that you're financially able because that would only bring added stress. God bless you. I hope that you pray about the decision you make and follow His lead.

Don't do it! Keep your job!

I quit my work, first i took FMLA, but then I did not return. I did not have a plan but it was the best decision i ever made. I took my mom out the nursing home and i strongly believe she was better for it. No care is better than the care you can give.

Everyone's situation is unique. Carefully consider the pro's and con's. If your spiritual, pray. Check out the FMLA options to maybe get a trial run at full time caregiver. Do what what your heart and brain know is best. Good luck.