How are you remembering your Mother for Mother's DAy 2010?

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I have decided to honor my mother's memory this year by planting a Forget-Me-Not in my garden. Each time I see it I can think of the mother of my childhood and the day long ago when she planted the same flower in her garden-a gift from me. I can think of all the gifts she gave me over the years and of the mother she became in later life. I can remember her as she was.

What ways have you found to cope with the holidays that remind us so much of our loss?

Blogging has helped me to cope day to day but this holiday is very difficult for me-my first as a motherless child.

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My mom died two months ago and the gut wrenching pain is unbearable. I miss her so much and I think about her and pray for her every day. For mothers day I had a month of consecutive masses said for her, I had the headstone cleaned (my dad had died 27 years ago and it was looking old and I knew my mother liked a clean "house') and I went shopping at the local outlets because that was what my mother loved to do the most. (She also liked to go out to eat after we went shopping, but I told my husband there was no way I could sit in a restaurant and watch other daughters celebrating with their mothers....) All in all, the actual mothers day was better than the week leading up to it (all those ads for flowers and candy and cards...UGH!!!) I want all of you members of the "motherless children's club" of which I am now a member, to know that my heart breaks for each and every one of you. Because whether this was your first mother's day without your mom, or if your mom has been gone for a while now, I FINALLY GET IT... I thought I did before and tried to be compassionate and loving to my friends, family and even my husband on this day, but until you actually lose your OWN mom you have NO IDEA how painful and difficult this is. My prayers go out to all of you.... (Now I have to deal with her birthday which is on the Fourth of July....)
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my mom is alive but the one who raised my was my grandmother so honoring her I became a home attendant/nurse's aid and I care for elderly sick people at their homes.
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Stay in God's Will

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

Dr. Baker James Cauthen resigned from the faculty of Southwestern Seminary and the pastorate of Travis Avenue Baptist Church in Ft. Worth to take his family to China in 1939, in the midst of war. His explanation was simple: the safest place in all the world to be is the center of the will of God.

Before he left for China, Dr. Cauthen said to his friend Bill Howse: "Bill, many people are making a lot out of what we are trying to do, but for us it's simply the will of God. It's such a good feeling that I can say that if our ship is bombed in Hong Kong harbor and we never set foot on Chinese soil, I will have a sense of completeness because I will have been doing the will of God for me."


Remember. The Will of God will never take you...
Where the grace of God cannot keep you,
Where the arms of God cannot support you,
Where the hands of God cannot mold you.
Where the power of God cannot endow you.

The will of God will never take you...
Where the spirit of God cannot work through you,
Where the riches of God cannot supply you,
Where the wisdom of God cannot teach you,
Where the army of God cannot protect you,

The will of God will never take you...
Where the love of God cannot enfold you,
Where the mercy of God cannot sustain you,
Where the Word of God cannot feed you,
Where the authority of God cannot overrule for you.

The will of God will never take you...
Where the comfort of God cannot dry your tears,
Where the peace of God cannot calm your fears,
Where the miracles of God cannot be done for you,
Where the omnipresence of God cannot find you.

~~~~Have a beautiful and wonderful day to each one of you ~~~~
~madison
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CroweM: Thank you for sharing this part of your life. And please don't tell me that I detect that by your having to eat in the kitchen with the help demeaned you in any way? Did it make you feel 'lesser' than the rest of the family members who were old enough to eat at the table with everyone else? If it did have any type effect on you as I've mentioned, I am sure you have already figured it out that you most likely were 'where you needed to be, which in turn brought you to being the man you are' .....
You found through the love and companionship of the household help, love and you found that 'that true kind of love' did not have to come from a blood relative. Just from your words, I can tell that they loved you very much and for that we must pray that they are included into this day of remembering those who have taken the roles of Mothers. Thank the Lord they were there for you.
This makes me wonder, as I have so many times before, but especially here on this holiday, just how many people think about the nurses aides at the nursing homes. I know there are nursing homes and there are nursing homes - some good, some not so good .... the one my Mom resides in is the most wonderful place. Mom was in a very light state of dementia when she began staying there. Her being in a nursing home was always the furthest thing from our minds, but she absolutely loved it there. The same nurses aides that started out with her are still with her, as the same nurses. I salute those nurses and the nurses aides because when we stop to think about it, the good ones are very hard to find and these are precious. They provide what the elderly needs 24/7. They provide to the families of the people who they care for. There is not a minute of the day or night that I am not welcomed to call and check on my Mom. When I call to check on her, and they've told me how she is doing, her vitals, etc., the last thing they say is, 'You call us back anytime now, ok?' .... From what I've heard about some nursing homes, you don't find this kind of care everywhere. I pray your Mother is doing well today. And I wish for you a happy day with her and for your wife as well. You are a good man, CM and may God bless you.
~madison
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Madison ,

Thanks for the compliment and I hear what you are saying about respecting or honoring the lives of the dead. I guess that I don't feel so connected to my family tree on either side. I never knew my grandmother on my dad's side for she had committed suicide before he married and no one talks about it. I do now that she was a German Catholic who was rather well educated for a woman of her day. My mother's mother was also well educated for a woman of her day who had been orphaned as a young child, and ended up as the sole heir of four farms granted to her family by the King of England. From age 3 until I was 11, my mother and I lived with her mother and her sister in law. I don't have any found memories of her. My mother, well I've written enough about her already. However, the black female household help who worked for my grandmother were more of a grandmother, and mother to me. In that household, one had to be a certain age to eat at the table with everyone else. The whole time I lived there, I ate in the kitchen with the help.
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Bobbie, many blessings to you and your mom. Madison, thank you, and to yours. Miz, praying for you and yours, and for your travel plans. Pirategal, prayers for your mom to continue not bugging you as before. Linda, et al, praying for you missing your moms. To each mother: praying you are blessed tomorrow.
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Thank you Secret Sister for your love, your well wishes and for your prayers for I feel in my heart, they have already reached the hands of God.
Whatever is and whatever happens here on earth will happen in only a blink of the eye made by God. That quick. May we all learn to remember that and remember that nothing in life is as important as the Lord. May believing in this, we can accept others as they are and be able to continue on in our lives with pride, joy and love in our hearts.
Secret Sister, I am usually always the 'Happeeeee' in Mom's every day world; I am her clown, so to speak. (Junk I do not collect but clowns I do.) but this evening I told her that tomorrow is Mother's Day and she looked up at me and just moved her face from side to side, as if to say, 'Well, I'll be....' and I don't know where it came from but I told her as I always do so many times, that I loved her but today, I stared her in the eye and told her, 'When I go home, you are still there. I want you to know this Mom. I am never away from you; you go with me wherever I am, you know that don't you?' and she nodded yes. And tears just came flowing from me. I did not need to do that. Not in front of her.
O-k-a-y.... I'm off for a while. I'm going to clean my house. I move when I clean, which is a favorite past time that accompanies my habit of keeping clothes clean. I'm always washing something ... I can hear my Mom telling people this. I wear my headset that encloses me to myself and I listen to a radio station that you may want to try picking up on your computer called afr.net Somewhere on their page, you can find how to locate your local radio stations that will tell you where to find them on your radio dial. Before I started on posting, I listened to them each night until I went to bed. They saved me from major depression, worry and stress .... most likely what I wrote in another post which is called Anticipatory Grief. Their songs are beautiful, up to date and can at times make one cry just listening to them How they release the bad from the soul is amazing. You can pull them up and listen Live on your computer and go on with other work on your computer or pick them up by radio. My headset has the radio and gives me the beautiful sound of the music that I do not hear through the computer speaker or through the radio. I think it has something to do with it just being the headset itself: to ones' self.
Their ministry is great along with news about our govt., the medicaid system; they describe their news as being what Christians have a right to know about and they do give a broader description of what is truly going on in our society today. I hope you will be able to pick it up and I pray it will be a grace to you. I pray your day tomorrow will be the best for you, Secret Sister.... may you get all the hugs you need from your dear little boy and may his love bring you the peace your heart needs so much.
My hug comes with one of his, so remember that, okay?
Jesus loves you ~ and so do I.
~madison
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Madison, you are a dear sweet angel, who loves deeply and compassionately. I'll be praying for you, your mother, MIL, and husband's family. I'll pray for your siblings to see the destructiveness of their hatred and actions, and repent. I also pray for you and your mother's comfort and peace. Thank you for your kind words and gentle thoughts. Heaven is real, and the way is through Jesus. Hopefully both your mother and MIL trusted him, and have their names in the Lamb's book for eternal life. May God be with you this Mother's Day!

And to all you mothers and caregivers of mothers, I pray your Mother's Day is a memorable one.
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Thank you Bobbie ... from my heart, Thank you. I hope you have been having a good day? Was the sun shining for you today? It was here and very warm. I love warm and could not live (I don't think) in cold climated weather.
I would like to request a prayer request from you, all of you, my dear friends. I tell my Husband, often- that we are so dysfunctional and he just cracks up laughing. Because he knows it is true. We just take each day as it comes, sometimes not doing the things we should be doing/ like finally having to take care of things we should have taken care of -three days ago! LOL.... Life is too-too short to bury ourselves into the areas of blame or anger over something not being done already... Patience... It''ll get done.... we say.
My prayer request is for my Husband's Mother. A precious little 4' 10" tall lady who now weighs 100 lbs (two weeks ago weighed her normal 114). She has been diagnosed with cancer of the stomach which is both inside and outside the stomach; it is on her liver and in her gall bladder.
She is 85 years of age. Has been the fountain of youth all her life, even into the elder years. Something she's been so proud of and her family proud of her for also. This news has been so for about five weeks now; they gave her most likely no more than 3 months. She is ready. With the grace of a Lady and the spirit of the Lord that lives in her, she is ready. This is not news that alot of people in the world can say they would be okay and ready for. I know I would not for so many reasons. God understands that though; He made us .....
She is doing well except for the past few days she has been going down; I mentioned to my Husband that she may need blood. He called the two brothers (They live in another state, near their Mother) and brought up the subject of her needing the CBC run. This is again, one of the instances where the family outside the picture may possibly be judged wrongly and their opinions don't count. But to his surprise, they took his suggestion, asked the doc to run the CBC and found that she does need blood. 4 units! She will be receiving them Monday as their small town does not have an Infusion center. God keep her well til then, I pray. So, during the week my Husband works and on his way home afterwards, he will stop by and visit with my Mom.... This is what he calls his 'out-time' where he can relax, talk to her, read the paper to her, or just sit by her while she sleeps. On the weekends, as of Friday afternoons, he is pulling from the driveway to drive into the next state where they live and he stays until Sunday night with his Mother. She has been doing exceptionally well the last few weeks and has enjoyed the close family unit so much which has given her something to look forward to -- and her three sons also. They need this time with her because it may not be very long that they will have her any longer. I ask you pray for her. Pray for my Husband as he has been so good to me, has loved me beyond my dreams and also loved my Mother as his own. Now he faces two Mothers who will die eventually from almost the same thing. He holds strong but I know he is weak right now. I do not pressure him for anything of what is on his mind; I know when the time is right for him, he will speak. My Mom is in her last days also and I pray I can be to him and to myself what I am meant to be.
He makes the trips alone but joins in to about 25 people each weekend when he walks in the door at his Moms'. This is a time of reunion for their family as they have people from all around the US, their relatives there to visit with her. I am here. With Mom and this is where I have to be. There is no one who can make the decisions over her should they have to take her into the hospital. I fear that an 8 hr trip roundtrip is too much of a chance to take at this point but plan to have someone, maybe my SIL to come and stay at my home and with Mom at the nursing home for a day so that I can go be with my MIL, once more at least. I pray all these things will work out for the good.
For anyone who is having difficulties right now, having to make hard decisions about things in life, I pray for you. Life seems to throw to us/at us decisions we never thought we would have to face and it's so frightening. Pray for each other. Love one another.
~ madison
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Prayers for you dear Madison and a happy Mother's Day to you and your blessed mom.

lovbob
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