Rehab is releasing my 89-year-old father. They say he needs 24-hour-care but wants to come home. Can they stop me from taking him home?

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Thanks everyone for your input on my Dad's situation. I guess I should have started by saying - he is not totally dependent. He can bathe himself, dress himself and get around on a walker. So, that is why we have made the decision to let him go home and see how that goes. He is very sharp in the mind. I think if we can get meals on wheels, first alert and maybe 1 day of home healthcare he will do okay. I really do appreciate everyone giving me there advice and tips. Will keep you posted.

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I am not an expert and am only replying based on my experience. You said rehab is "releasing" your father. Do you mean his is in rehab now and either the Medicare paid days are over or they don't think he would benefit from further rehab? If latter and you think more rehab in the facility would help, you can appeal that. I think as a relative you can without having health care surrogacy or power of attorney but you need to check on that.

You should visit the official Medicare site to get accurate details if you want to pursue this avenue of appealing rehab or nursing home discharge. If they are suggesting transfer to nursing home and you don't agree he needs 24 hour care, you could get another opinion, pehaps from his regular doctor, but sometimes they don't know all the details of current situation. If he really does need 24 hour care, then refer to what the other earlier posters said, b/c 24 hour care is really 24 hour care and if you are taking responsiblity, you will have to provide it. I've been doing that for my mother for almost 10 years and your life will change dramatically, finacially, personally, workwise and otherwise so unless you or he have adequate financial resources or qualified family members who will help you have to try to think rationally as to whether living at home is the safest decision. As suggested in the other posts, you can also contact state for an evaluation and perhaps see if they provide any community diversion program in lieu of nursing home placement. Every decision is an individual personal decision. I don't know what the future will bring in my situation either. so you have to think not only right now what is best but also the future. It is very hard. Good luck.
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Most elders want to go home, most children want to take care of thier parents and we all give it a try. As others have said if you have not doen it and do not know what you are getting yourself in to, then please reconsider, it seems he needs 24 hour care and you must be ready for that. If you can afford help, then hire it. Was he a Veteran? If so, contact the VA for assistance in locating help, this will take time if he has to apply if he is not already in the VA system. PLEASE put yourself first, you will wear yourself out managing his care for 24 hours a day if you are not prepared with equipment and supplies to do so. Listen to Rehab, they are trained to know best. Contact your local Area on Aging or Senior Center for advice as well. Keep us posted.
Blessings,
Bridget
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You can get caregivers to come to your home for as many hours as you cannot give. However, insurance does not pay for caregivers, and a nursing home is cheaper than paying for caregivers 24 hrs/day. Mostly all parents want to go home after a time in rehab. Please contact your local Area Office on Aging while he is still there. They can evaluate his ability to handle his ADL's (Activities of Daily Living), and can evaluate his need for long term care and his need for caregivers, how safe and healthy he would be at home.
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AG - the important question is whether YOU can give him the care he needs at home. If not, then now is the time to admit him to a nursing home. Medicare will pay for a certain # of days and then you can get medicaid if he doesn't have funds to pay for himself. With an 89 year old dad, I'm assuming that you're at least 40 - do you have the physical strength to move him from bed? on and off the toilet? in and out of the tub or shower? Do you have the equipment at home to keep him safe? (Grab bars, shower chairs, taller toilet or potty chair near the bed?)

If the answer to more than 2 of these is "no", then please, please re-think taking him home with you. Your own health and physical well being are important too. As much as i'd love to have mom home, I'm just not strong enough to lift her day in and day out. All I'd do is injure my own back and I fear that it would go out and i'd drop her - then we'd both be hurt.

If you need unbiased help making this decision - contact your local area agency on aging and see if they can provide some guidance.
Best of luck to you and your dad.
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Depends if he is a danger to himself or others, that is the demarcation live for go home and not allowed to go home most places in the US...
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