I don't think it is wrong. You know your own limits and the demands of your situation better than anyone. You have a very heavy load as it is caregiving 3 people. Too heavy in my opinion. How disabled is your mother? I gather less so than your wife. Some people who are bipolar can function relatively well in society Could your daughter and/or mother prepare some simple meals? I know that would not solve your problem but might help lighten, the load a little, even if your wife is in a facility. I am assuming your wife has Alz. and am sorry she has this dreadful disease so young. Let us know what you decide.
This is a heart wrenching thought. My 53 year old wife has a caregiver 9:00-4:30 Monday through Friday I get her on evenings and weekends. I work full time and when I get Joel I need to prepare dinner for my disabled mother and bipolar daughter. The cost of the care giver takes a high bite of our monthly budget. I need to do some traveling for business and cannot afford an overnight caregiver. Is it wrong for me to think that it is time to look at assisted living? She's only 53
When you have done all you can, but the arrangement you have no longer works. You must make a living. You must get some rest. You must take care of your health for your own sake, but also for your husband's sake. If you get sick, no one can work or be a caregiver. An option for awhile could be adult day care. But if you feel that your husband is at a point where he can't safely be left while you work, and you've tried whatever other arrangements you think may work but haven't, it's likely time to look for a good ALF with a memory unit. He will have socialization there, which is important for him. I know it's all tougher with a younger person, since so many with AD are older. But your husband could start to wander or have other episodes which could be dangerous to him. Don't feel guilty if you can't handle it all yourself. You are human and can only do so much. Take care of both of you, Carol
But if you feel that your husband is at a point where he can't safely be left while you work, and you've tried whatever other arrangements you think may work but haven't, it's likely time to look for a good ALF with a memory unit. He will have socialization there, which is important for him. I know it's all tougher with a younger person, since so many with AD are older. But your husband could start to wander or have other episodes which could be dangerous to him. Don't feel guilty if you can't handle it all yourself. You are human and can only do so much.
Take care of both of you,
Carol