sublimejoy Asked June 2011

Can I put my mother into a nursing home without her consent?

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My mom lives alone and i feel she cannot take care of herself alone. She has been an alcoholic for many years and it is putting her health at high risk as well as her safety. She fell and hurt herself really badly and was stuck laying on the floor till i found her two days later. I called EMTS and she denied any medical attention. She is 64 years old and also has had a stroke about 3 years ago. I'm worried about her extremely! She is very stubborn and she never leaves her home. She is very depressed. What do i do with her?

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EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack Jun 2011
I agree that perhaps you could try social services. This is a horribly sad situation for you, but you may just have to live with it if SS can't help.
You can help yourself, however, by going to Al-Anon or Families Anonymous meetings. These meetings are made up of people like you whose lives are affected by the behavior of alcoholics they love. Please remember that alcoholism is a disease. Your mom isn't too old to go to Alcoholics Anonymous, but she needs to want to go. If you join Al-Anon, you may connect with people who could try to reach out to your mom, too. She has a life to live, but you can't make her live it.
Please try to take care of yourself, and know that your mom is very sick. This is no reflection on you. You need support to make the most of your own life and to drop any guilt you feel.
Hang in and please check back,
Carol
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sublimejoy Jun 2011
She also will not bath nor shower herself in over a year!
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jeannegibbs Jun 2011
You poor thing. Hugs to you! What a hard spot you are in. You mom is younger than I am, and I think I'd fight my kids if they tried to move me to a home. But your mom has some impairments that put her at risk living alone. What to do? Let her decide if she is willing to assume those risks, or try to decide for her? Do you think she would be judged competent to make her own decisions?

I guess I'd bring in an impartial outsider, perhaps by calling social services and explaining my concerns.

My heart goes out to you. As much as we love people we can't live their lives for them. Just do your best.
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sublimejoy Jun 2011
My sister and I finaly got her to go to a hospital and has been there since last friday. Her health is very bad. She has COPD, pneumonia, MRSA, her elctrolytes are very poor as well as her kindney and liver. All has come from drinking and smoking for many years. She is currently is on many meds as well as a breathing machine. All we can do now is pray for her and hope for the best. Thank you all for the help. God bless.
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narak63 Jan 2014
My mother needs 24 hour care, she is unable to do anything for herself. I am her health surrogate but she always refused to appoint a POA. Her mind Is fairly alert but has short term memory loss. I cannot stay with her much longer to care for her, what are my options
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