How do we protect ourselves from "caregiver abuse?"


I am too old to call it 'child abuse,' and yet they are still my parents, and their bad behavior has not changed. They need a title. This is a huge problem that many of us face. How do we protect ourselves from their cruel lies? How do we keep from running away and not looking back? Because then it will be neglect.

Maybe if the economy was better, maybe if life wasn't so difficult for my little family right now, then the added nastiness from from them wouldn't be so hard to shake off.
How do we protect ourselves?

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Hi, SecretSister, count on me any old time to say heartfelt prayers for you and your loved ones. Yours is not an easy road. I have a little refrigerator magnet that was given to me many years ago. It reads: "Life is fragile. Handle with prayer." Whenever I see it, I will think of you, and stop to offer a special prayer blessing for you, sweet friend. One day at-a-time....
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Thank you, cgl, as I needed that, too. Need prayer.
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Caregivers are most vulnerable in the area you have posted. For one, be sure to work collaboratively and in open communication with your loved one's doctors. If they have concerns about your care and treatment of your loved one(s), their responsibility is to promptly report the matter to the appropriate enforcement and monitoring entities. If they do not, we have to exercise some faith knowing that they have no lack of confidence in our caregiving practices and/or methods, up to that point. If there are lies that may be potentially harmful to you, on the next doctor's visit, encourage your loved one to share and discuss the "lie" with the nurse, or the doctor, and offer to leave the room to ensure that your loved one doesn't feel undue pressure to not speak freely to the medical provider. Then, ask the doctor to discuss the concerns with you, in presence of your loved one. It is better to air that sort of drama, than to allow our Spirits to crumble under the weight of a destructive delusion taken out of context without your knowledge. Don't try to work the issues alone. Elicit health care professional help in surfacing the elder's concerns in as timely a manner as possible, and develop a course of action to help assuage and allay your loved one's fears. Probably the worst thing we can do is live our lives in a perpetual state of fear. There is nothing wrong with calling in local police when allegations are being leveled at you by your loved one, and let the officers know that you wanted a welfare check of your loved one, just to allow her to communicate her concerns to an objective 3rd party. I would not do that every day, but if the allegations are that serious, there is nothing wrong with bringing a professional in to independently assess and timely document what may be happening to the person in your care, including the ability to follow the officers' line of inquiry and communicate with clarity.

Live from a place of strength, not fear, ok? God bless you and keep you strong.
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