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I recently came on board here. As i said previously my mom came to live with me in april. A good decision i thought and still think was for the best. I would love to know what to do with the rest of my siblings. They sent a letter now to my mom saying I am taking advantage of her and abusing her finances. None of which is true. As I said before my mom came into my home to live from a low income apt. and she has nothing. she brought with her some credit card debt. Thats it. She receives some social security a month not much. Now she is afraid to be alone , She qualifies for a medicaid program which provides her with an aide in the morning for 2 hours. once that aide leaves she sits on the end of couch looking out the window for fear they may come and try and come and drag her out. how sad is this. she's 84 years old. she just wants to feel safe and secure. does anyone have any advice. how do i convince her she is safe here when i'm not so sure what else these siblings are plotting next. Help

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Ladies-- hope you have a good weekend--I'm new to this site. Roxie I hope your friends email you or call you or better yet drop over for coffee. When my friends ask what they can do for me I tell them to give me a call from time to time and some email me often because they know I enjoy and can get to the computer when I have some down time.
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msssarge,
Just hang in there. Yes it is much easier if they are in our homes. Family members do get crazy when they think money is involved, but if help is needed it seems they do not hear the call.
All I can suggest is to keep a tally of what your mother spends and how she spends it. This can be used later in your defense if anything comes of it.
I make sure my mother's bank account is used only on her because I expect later someone will say something. And I will hand it over for them to see.
But that can be time consuming.
Just hang in there and we will help as much as possible.
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My mom always says that one mother can raise 6 children, but 6 children can't take care of one mother. I think that is true. A prime example that I know of was a family that had 17 children. The parents were farmers and put each of their children through college. After the father died, the mother's health declined. The kids put her in a nursing home, and rarely visited. My mom always says, "Thank God I din't end up like Rosalie." Just feel good that you are doing the right thing for your mom.
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Thanks so much it is just easier knowing i'm not alone. Siblings are what they are it's just hard thinking i was raised by this same person as they were and they are having these issues. life would be just easier for everyone if they could just get over themselves and help. you're right being sharp and knowing how terrible they are hurting her or having her physical health and not being aware of how her children really are which is worse? thanks again i'll be back tomorrow. thanks
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I don't think there is any way that they can come into your home and try and take your things! It seems that you will just have to disregard what your siblings say and know that you are doing the right thing for your mom. I agree that is just easier to have her in your home. That way you can be in your own home and still provide her with the care she needs. My mom is in the same spot - mentally sharp and aware, but physically failing pretty quickly. Honestly, i don't know which is worse-failing mentally with decent health or vice versa. I guess either way is hard. Don't feel guilty for working! We can only do our best, and our lives must continue. I often feel guilty when I have to leave my mom alone, but if you start staying home, you'll end up never leaving the house. Just remember, you are doing the best you can and nobody can expect more. Welcome to the "group"!
Brendalou
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I Do have power of attorney. As i said there is no money. We went to her attorney and he wrote their attorney giving them what they asked for ( bank balances, credit card balances, etc.) Not one of them stepped up to the plate and asked mom to come stay with them. When my mom asked me to move in with me I told them all of their help would be appreciated but not one has called or came to visit not even a card on mother's day. When my mom wanted to have a new will drawn up her attorney said it wasn't necessary as there is nothing to probate but i am afraid my family will come in after my mom passes and say my things were mom's. She has nothing here. She brough her lift chair and tv. thats it besides her personal belongings. please understand my mom is very good mental health as her family doctor says she is as sharp as a tack. her physical health not so good. I'm at my wits end as its just easier having mom here as i was the one taking her everywhere when she lived alone. I really hate to leave her alone the two days a week i have to work but i really need to do this. A family meeting is out as they all feel i owe them an apology for bringing mom here and that's not going to happen. Its just great being able to get some advice from you it really helps thank you
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I completely agree with Brendalou. Family can create problems if they even think there is any money involved. Have any of them volunteered to help or take her into their homes? Please seek the advice of an attorney, before the situation gets any worse. Good luck to you.
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Have you thought about consulting an attorney? Perhaps if you had Power of Attorney she would feel more secure. If they actually make any threats about removing your mother, you could get a restraining order. The best thing would be a family meeting to explain your desire to help your mom and her lack of finances. If that doesn't work, I'd go to an attorney.
Brendalou
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