How do I explain the presence of a new, part-time caregiver for my mom?

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She has a mild dementia and doesn't want people in the house, but my sister is disabled and recovering from extensive surgery. We want someone in the house to help with dinner preparation and light housekeeping when my sister goes back to work in March. We plan on adding more days to the caregiver's schedule when family members leave and just mom and sister are here alone. Mom can get very angry if she doesn't like something, but she doesn't throw things or yell at visitors in the house. We really need a caretaker here. Thanks in advance for any suggestions.

Answers 1 to 6 of 6
Can the new person be presented as someone to help your sister while she recuperates? Is it possible that once Mom gets used to having her around it will become less of an issue?
We're trying to brainstorm various explanations. Therapists come in daily to provide care for my sister and mom wants to know who each person is and what she does. I'm planning on saying the helper is for me. Mom's response typically is that she can do everything, but she can't. She'll be hurt and angry (this is her house and she has no say), that's a given. I just want to soften the blow in a way that makes sense to her, if anything does. Mom's probable reaction is what upsets my sister the most about this. We just have to manage/work around mom's anger. Time and familiarity will make it better; I'm fearing the first day. Just wondering how others managed a situation like this one. Thank you.
I'm a caregiver. Talk to me! :-) It's very interesting to be the "Unneeded" caregiver. Make sure your caregiver is excellent with someone like your mom. Also - please don't assign a reaction to your mom. She may live down to your expectations! Tell yourself she'll love the idea, love the caregiver, and love the help. It may be a self-fulfilling prophecy....
I love the caregiver's response. Family members tends to act better with stangers than with their own family. Your mom really might love the break and enjoy her new friend & helper. And you all might too !!
Top Answer
Went thru this with my husband. A bit bumpy at first. Didn't want someone in house,etc. As he got used to caregiver, he enjoyed company while I was at work. Try to pass them off as someone to help you or your sister. Or even that caregiver is nice person who needs a job, so you are helping them out (Mom will be helping them out). Good caregivers understand and will do best to assimilate.
The caregiver came for first visit for three hours. Mom was very angry when I told her someone was coming, but she calmed down after awhile. It was a good visit, although mom tried to talk her out of coming, and she's coming back next week. We did present the caregiver as someone to help our sister, and mom appears to be appeased. This is a big step forward. Thanks for your comments and support!

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