I hold Durable Power of Attorney for my 92-year old mother who has mid-stage Alzheimer's disease. What happens if I predecease her?

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I am an only child, am unmarried and have no family of my own. I have several cousins with whom I am not close and who would not assume responsibility for mom's care. In short, I have no one to name as a secondary attorney in fact.

Despite her age mom is in otherwise in generally good health. She has no serious medical conditions that complicate her situation. Her disease is progressing slowly. She could live for a number of years. What, if anything, can I do to ensure that mom is properly cared for in the event of my untimely death or disability? I am 63 years old and am in good health. Chances are that I will outlive her but who knows what the future holds?

Answers 1 to 8 of 8
wishing I was going to see some answers already, I am in the same boat as you so will keep an eye on this post and see who answers, wishing you the best, hugs
Top Answer
Just as with kids, you need to appoint someone to cover you if you die first. Get it in writing, just as you did already, when you took that role. The trick probably will be finding whom to appoint. Any attorney can help you.
My Mom is 85 and really well, I am 59 and have significant asthma... I am concerned about this also. I do have two sisters but they are not close and would put my Mom in the nursing home real FAST!
If you don't trust your siblings, you can also pay someone to be her conservator of person and estate -- just like sometimes people pay a lawyer to close an estate, rather than a family member. What does your Mom think?
I agree, talk to experts first. get the best information you can. Speak to all family members even those who seem to be not very close. You might find some one who fits the needs of your ill family member.Set up all legal papers to coniside with your death .Even if you have to set up for a hired person to do the work for a fee from your ill family member's accounts they will be take care of if the worst thing happens and you die before the other loved one.My Mother, she died young (56),was the one legally responsible for he mother and the only one the will mentioned. My Father had to go to court to be come her care giver and pay her bills, for this he was paid a sum of money and in tern reported to the courts all he did for he and had to provide an accounting for all expences.It worked well enough but it would have been easier if these things had been in place befoe My Grandmother was not able to set these things up for her self. Planning now while you are able will save hard ship for all later.Good Luck !
Jane B's was right on. Get your desires for your Mothers future legally in writing. There are many "homes" for Alzheimer patients that are very nice and staffed with love. But are hard to come by and can be very pricey. I personally feel that having a loved one care for Mom in the comfort of her own familiar surroundings is the best option. Hopefully you can find a responsible caretaker and keep her at home. Try testing out some caretakers by letting them "Mommy Sit" while you have some YOU time. God Bless, take care.
Same situation I have with my husband. In California we have the PFAC(Professional Fiduciaries Association of California). I chose a member of this organization and did a revocable living trust giving this person (or another member of PFAC if she was not available at time of need - they are licensed and bonded) the POA of trust and designated caregivers that would be paid to take care of my husband.
For your Mom, she could do trust with you as successor trustee and a professional trustee as 2nd successor trustee.
Ask about a special needs trust - like what is established for disabled children or disabled adults not capable of taking care of themselves.
It would only take effect if something happened to you. And Mom would be protected as successor trustee can only act on the conditions set forth in trust.
Personally,I think it is better to have a licensed, bonded professional than family you hardly know.
My husband is quit a bit older than me, but you never know what could happen.
His family would put him in 1st available nursing home. My Mom is 96 - so no help there. I don't know rest of her family and they are back East.
I am a Geriatric Social Worker who works at the Alzheimer's Association as a Care Consultant as well as a Pre-Need Counselor for funerals and cremations. I'm not sure if you've had an attorney look at your Mom's Power of Attorney paperwork recently, but I highly suggest speaking with a local attorney or the one that originally created her trusts, wills, etc. If you don't have an elder law attorney, I recommend you looking at the websiteto find one. You can also call your local Area Office on Aging to find other recommendations. I hope that you are also connected to your local Alzheimer's Association. Their website is www.alz.org. I also recommend getting involved in a local Support Group to hear what others in your situation may also be doing. I hope this helps and blessings in taking on the role of caregiver and to your Mother who's suffering from Alzheimer's Disease.

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