I'm just recently moved into my mother's house to care for her. My brother who was her caregiver died a couple of months ago (my best friend for 50 years). I was his sole caregiver for the 1 and 1/2 year battle with kidney cancer. I'm still trying to even begin to cope with my unending grief of losing him and trying to take care of my wheelchair bound mother. I had no choice, My other 2 brothers did not want to help ... but I know that I need to be here for her. It feels like I don't get a spare moment to myself now. I'm used to living in my house with no one kibbutzing everything, asking me to do something for her the minute I sit down to eat or rest. Plus I work full time as a teacher at a community college. It feels like I can't possibly do everything for everyone. I'm physically and emotionally drained. My mother is nitpicking everything and still remembers perfectly how to hit all my buttons. I'm afraid I'll have either a physical or emotional breakdown from all of this ... tonight it feels like I can't keep doing it ... but I must, no one else will help me in the family. Plus, even with the snarkyness of my mother, I feel an obligation to help her. I miss my own house, I miss my own time to relax, I miss my friends, I miss my old life I had 2 years ago. But I feel so selfish saying any of that. I'm only 50, but even I must have a breaking point.
Any words of wisdom out there? I have none of my own.