I am trying to get help here so I am able to go home for a month in January. I lived several hundred miles away. He refused help. He can't be reasonable or capable of doing anything anymore. I am the last living survivor left. I, like most others want to keep him home because that is what he wants. Any advice on going through the legal system? Extremely nervous about this venture.
Have you been in contact with the local social services folks, usually called the Area Agency on Aging? You can ask for a "needs assessment ", which could be done during your visit. Have you spoken to his doctor about these issues?
Sometimes, when elders are uncooperative, you simply have to wait for a fall or serious illnesses to land them in the hospital.