Should I put my mother in a retirement village or bring her back home?

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My mother,77 yrs old, has COPD. Not on oxygen yet. fter suffering a TIA stroke in Dec, and three weeks of nursing home care, she was released in Jan and we decided to her into an independent retirement apartment where they provide breakfast and one meal. They will also shuttle to stores and medical appts. No asst nursing services given but they do ask for a 10 am check in to ensure she is moving around.. Wondering if we did the right move. Price is $2500 a month. Her home is paid for and now I'm beginning to think I should move her back home to save her money for when her COPD gets worse and she will need more care. When she doesn't feel well, which is about once a week, she gets very needy and wants more of my attention. I work full-time with family, so not alot of free time. I'm thinking maybe the smarter thing to do is move her back home and hire someone to come check on her a few times a week. I have one brother who lives out of town, so all care is given by me. I have been getting her house ready to rent out, as it still costs her about $300 a month until I rent it. She brings in $2700 a montht, so we need the rent to help with other bills she has. What to do? My brother wants me to keep her there for social, but I'm wondering if the care is more important...any advice appreciated.

Answers 1 to 5 of 5
I forgot to mention she uses nebulizer twice a day, spiriva once a day, and pro air for emergencies for the COPD, has afib and on blood thinner, high anxiety, and high blood pressure. She is very able to get around.
Top Answer
Wow, you have waited a long time for an answer. Sorry that happened. I'm wondering how your mom feels. Does she like living in the retirement village? If she is happy there and enjoying the social aspects, then it would be nice if she could continue to stay on.

I take it that she is presently handling all her meds on her own and doing her own housekeeping.

If you think she would be safe living on her own and she would prefer to live at home, it would probably be ok to try it. I would recommend that you have someone come in at least 3 times per week on the week days. Most agencies that provide care givers require a minimum of 2 hours per visit and some require 3. The hourly cost usually runs between $20.00 and $25.00 per hour. You have probably researched all this.

How are you going to handle her medical appointments? You said her retirement village provides shuttles to appointments and you have little time.

Sounds like you have your hands full. I think you need to ask your mom how she feels. Stay in touch and good luck. Cattails.
With cattails, I think your mom's wishes should be a big factor in this decision. I would tend to aim for what is best now, rather than try to predict how the future will play out.

Economically, renting the house might be similar to moving her back home. In one case you are increasing income; in the other you are reducing expenses.
Thanks for responding. I did talk with my mother and she wanted to go back home. I agreed as long as she agreed to have help come in for her such as the 3 hour a day aide minimum mentioned. She agreed to this too. So we will give it a try and see how it goes. Fingers are crossed hoping it works our.
In addition to handling her medical needs, a retirement community might be good for her socially, since being at home by herself could be lonely. Nutritionally speaking, a retirement community that provides dining options might be good for her too. Hope this helps.

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