I quit my job to care for my mother with dementia. Now she is telling everyone I'm worthless because I don't work. How can I handle this?
I have been taking care of my mom for over two years. I had to quit my career to take care of her 24/7 - my siblings have shown up two times since she moved in here; furthermore, they do not even call to see how mom is doing, nor do they show up for holidays - my brothers and sisters live within 20 minutes of my house AND they are frequently near my house (they have businesses and property near me). This has put a big strain on my marriage and my relationship with my husband and kids. At first I felt blessed to be able to let my mom move in with me, even though I would sacrifice a great career to be able to care for her (she has dementia). But after two years of hearing her talk nothing but good things about my brothers and sisters (according to her they are the most wonderful children in the world) and having my neighbors and friends tell me that she is telling them that I am worthless because I do not work, I have had enough. I am crying almost everyday; my migraines have returned, and I now have a host of stress related health issues. I understand she has an illness. I have asked her if she wants to go somewhere else to live, but she tells me she is happy here with us. Has anyone else faced this type of situation? How do you handle it? None of my brothers or sisters want her in their house. I don't feel right putting her somewhere, but I don't know how much longer I will be able to care for her or myself, for that matter. Also, I have periodically ran into people I grew up with and they were surprised to hear that I took let her come live with me, considering they tell me they remember how she treated me as the black sheep of the family, even as a very young child (by the way I am the oldest child - she was in her mid 30s when she had me). I just tell them that she is still my mother, no matter how bad she treated me growing up.