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She isn't able to handle her business affairs and doesn't understand anything new. I do all her cooking and cleaning and she has a suite of rooms with bath in our home. I want to make sure she is safe. A person my age seems like he has something wrong with him if he wants to keep company with my 85 year old mom? Should I intervene?

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Follow your gut, if something feels wrong, then it is.... I would be suspcious too... you have the right to intervene if you choose to.... let us know how this turns out... we need to always protect our elders, and this is a new one.... hugs to you.
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Personally, I would start doing a little investigating on my own. Definitely figure out how to do a criminal background check on this gentleman. Plenty of people out there that prey on the elderly. Do you have poa over her finances? I'm betting if you do and when this guy finds out, you won't be seeing him again.
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Accompany mom to Sr Ctr and ask various staff, Especially those who have been there for a while, for a reading on the suitor. I too would be very concerned. Background checks r done either state or national-do national. It is not uncommon for transient types to target Sr centers in search of victims. U may also consider a discussion w local police to see if they have any awareness of him. Even if no criminal record, someone may have alerted them to a similar situation w their mom. I agree w Ladee n survived2: listen to your gut, and when he sees u won't get any access to mom's assets, he'll likely keep moving along. My mom lived far from us and would not allow us to protect her- she lost lots: money, missing antiques/silver, jewelry, and worst of all- dignity. Glad u r able to keep her protected n hope u stay on top of this. Kimbee
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I agree with the others. Have him checked. But also prevent him from taking her somewhere. Like to the justice of the peace. I'm sure that could be an annould but why put your mom through that pain.
If. He does gave a past have the police give him a visit to scare him off. Sounds like a con man.
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Picksixer, Thank goodness you have POA and control the finances. Can we assume your Mom also has dementia? If not, watch out for her valuables, jewelry and life ins policy. Hopefully she made you the owner of her life ins policy long ago. If not, she might still be able to transfer ownership to someone else or change the beneficiary. You may want to get some legal advice to find out if that's possible for her to do if she is not mentally competent. Also, you mention that she is living in your home and you do everything for her. I would consider not allowing the man into your home or even getting a restraining order on him if he gets pushy.
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Does POA help if he takes her to the bank and she draws out money and gives it to him and he disappears? Joint account is still hers too.
Or if he takes her tu justice of peace. 0r if she makes out a new POA and revokes you and names him?
65 and 85 does not compute. Con men are very shrewd. Better safe than sorry.
Listen to Mag....it does happen. Please be proactive.
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Yes Picksixer, I think we all are dying to know if you have resolved this problem - hope you will be able to update us soon!
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Pj Keizer, hope you've made some progress finding out about this guy. Please let us know, lisa
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If he is only 65 and in a senior assisted center as a patient, then he may not be in his right mind and not able to comprehend that mom is 85. If they are simply enjoying each other's company, than relax. My mom thinks every man has a thing for her and we simply shrug it off. She can talk to a man in the grocery store and he was "flirting" with her. No. He was simply making small talk. Keep an eye on things and try to see what state of mind the younger man is in. He may not even realize that she feels this way towards him - as is the case for my mom. For peace of mind do a background search.
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We just went through this this week. FIL 87 goes to Mc Donalds where he is approached by an 64 yo woman who claims to remember him . He has no recollection, but they chat AND make a DATE! She calls him repeatedly when he gets home, he is all excited (and actually takes a bath and puts on fresh clothes :) ) !! Next day, they meet and she takes him to walmart and has him open a credit card, which of course she can use and buys her a tv. Next day, yesterday, they meet and she asks for cash, he comes home and I overhear a conversation that makes me curious. Start asking questions and he never realized that she opened an account. We were able to shut it down, changed his debit card and then the fun started trying to get the tv back...pure scam, this morning spent trying to fill out a police report. Surprisingly Walmart has been quite helpful. How do you keep them from harm all day when they drive and think they know more than their kids/ Crazy making!
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