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I have been serving as primary caretaker for my 87 year old mother - ensuring she has a working care network to facilitate her safety, health and well-being in her own home - her wish. Over the past 15-20 years I have provided financial support to pay her bills, coordinate her medical care and have arranged for meals on wheels, prepare meals in advance, and have a nurse come in weekly. My aunt, sister, my husband & I rotate to stay with my mom so she has 24 hr support as she needs. I take leave from work to do this. My brother lives about 10 mins away and cannot or will not take care of critical matters, and visits infrequently, and cannot or will not participate in sharing this responsibility. He cuts grass and fixes some items and charges my mother for these visits. He makes no attempt to provide help for day to day care to provide us with respit, Let alone act on her behalf as POA. At each phase, I had to step in to act on her behalf or she would've been in a serious medical crisis. He does not monitor when my mother needs critical assistance and has no clue of her day to day condition let alone sense of urgency to take care of her. As she continues to become more dependent than she already is, I'm concerned that I will not be able to act to help her.

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It really depends on the laws of your state and how the POA was written. In Florida, we just had a major overhaul of the POA laws. But yes, more than one person can act as POA here if the document was written that way. Your mom would need to see a lawyer to add you or remove your brother and inform you of the specific laws of your area. Does she have capacity? Is there no back up for your brother if he chooses not to act? Typically, there is a secondary person listed in the event something happens to the first person, or in case they resign or anything else. I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. It must be frustrating and exhausting.
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My sister and I share POA. It started out that my sister had papers drawn up several years ago where my parents had agreed for her to be POA. Even though she lives in another state, she visited my parents more frequently than I did. Then, I moved back to our hometown and became the primary caregiver. That's when we decided to add my name as POA so the attorney had to draft new paperwork. My sister is the one who takes care of the financial situation and I take care of health issues.
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My brother was named as POA and executor, but doesn't seem to know how to be involved in performing this role, or neglects it.
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I would consult an elder care attorney about this with your husband, aunt, sister and anyone else who participates in your mother's day to day care. Who is your mother's POA right now? If you don't think you will be able to do it, how about getting a Health Care Manager or Conservator for your mother? That same person should be POA. I'm not certain, but I don't think POA can be shared. Also, does your mother have a Health Care Proxy? Whose name is on that?
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