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My mom has moderate dementia, I have been caring for her for 3 years now. I can not afford more than 2 days a week for 4 hours. She gets just over the amount to get any extra help. Its all so frustrating dealing with medicare, social security, and all. They encourage keeping people in there homes or with you but don't really have any help for those that are just getting by. I cant afford to stay home and care for her much longer, and do not want her in a NH. I know at some point It will most likely come to that. But for now she still does ok and I really want to keep her with me. If we could all get just a little help it would make things much easier it seems. I have safe guarded the house, alarms on doors/windows, locks on cabinets. Now if I could only afford to have some one watch over her so I can go back to work. Sorry all I really needed to vent today, its all so frustrating.

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Is it possible for your brother to help with the cost of day care for your mom? Maybe between you, your mom and your brother, you could get back to work. I hope you find a way rejoin the work force and get some financial stability into your life. Best wishes.
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I can surely appreciate everyone's situation. I am also taking care of my 85 year old mother with dimentia/alzheimer's. I am able to do it because I'm out of work right now and in treatment for breast cancer. She also has a small bank account so does not qualify for any state help. I finally hired an alzheimer companion for 3 hours a day for 5 days, and that cost 262.50 per week. I also have meals on wheels which we pay $5.00/day. It is so expensive to get care for them (she lives in her own home) but some one has to be there with her. I appreciate some of the advice at this site. I have scheduled an appointment with an elder law attorney for next week. Good luck to all of you!
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Thank you all for your suggestions, my mom is living with me, my brother helps when he can. He works full time and has a family so its usually on sundays he can come by so I can get some errands done. My mom is healthy pysically but has dementia and is still functoning pretty well considering. She cant prep meals anymore, but does eat on her own. Has incontinence, but will change her depends. She has trouble remembering the steps to achieving her goal, with meal prep and so forth. I handle all financial matters, bill paying, health care, doc apps. I need daycare that we can afford at this point, and I dont see that happening. Bettymaxwell194 I think looking into an AL daycare may be what I need. So she is taken care of well I work during the week, and my bro can help out on weekends. The problem will be affording full time day care all week, I'll have to look into some AL. See if day care there would be an option for us and like you said a smoother transition when and if the time comes. I dont know if it is realistic to think I can work and take care of her. But i wont know until I try, if it is to much I'll have to look at some other avenues.
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Wow I know this is difficult I have had Mom with me for a little over 5 years.
I also needed help. What I did was checked out a local Assisted Living Facility they do provide daycare for a very reasonable price they charge by the hour and feed her meals too...( a lot less than hiring a agency caregiver) And so I have had Mom there 2-3 times a week for about two months. Best thing I ever did for both of us. Mom is getting socialization with her peers and I am getting some R & R myself. I really feel that Mom is getting so comfortable there that when and if the time comes she will make a smooth transition to living there . Sometimes we have to be pro-active in helping ourselves and our loved one. And patience, time and planning are also helpful. And good listeners like all these great caregivers on this website.God Bless you all!!!!!
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i would love to sit with an elderly person for free. i am a retired person and my time is my own. wish i could help. try calling the volunteer services in your area.
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Maybe you know someone that could also come and sit with her for free...other family members, friends, etc. I hope your family didn't just put all the responsibility on you! My family just assumes that because I am home, that I can handle everything for our mother...cleaning, shopping, bill paying, doctor appt.s, etc. I, too, need to get back out and work. I wonder what they will do then??? It is VERY frustrating! I am venting with you! :-)
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Glad you were able to vent today. That is just one of the reasons we are all here. If your Dad or Mom is a Vet you might want to check with the VA for financial assistance. You might also want to discuss your case with an Elder Law Attorney. He might be able to help you move money in such a manner that mom might be eligible for Medicaid which might help. You also might want to consider an Assisted Living Facility instead of a Nursing Home.
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Are you or your mother a member of a church? This has been my source of comfort and help. Through the church I have found someone mom loves like a second daughter. And she helps me out weekly.
The church sometimes is a great community resource.
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