How do I monitor a parent when I'm at work?

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My mother is ill with a variety of illnesses ranging from arthritis to diabetes to heart disease. When my husband and I are at work and my children are at school, it's difficult to keep track of how she's doing. I've considered hiring a visiting nurse, but I have trust issues with that. I call periodically and when the kids are home from school, it's easy for them to monitor her. What are some suggestions on what to do in a situation like this?

Answers 1 to 10 of 19
What about a surveillance camera inside your home? I've seen that kind of stuff advertized on TV.
Top Answer
in my experience with monitoring my mom, I always prepared her meals,breakfast lunch and dinner the day before. her meds in med boxes. I always made sure wastebaskets were emptied each night. That way I knew what was thrown out. I only asked her to eAt her breakfast, washing dishes were not necessary. She lived in a senior housing apartment. a neighbor would look in on her. Eventually I hired my friend to stay with her a specific time of the day. Like lunch and dinner. Also, if you decide for a visiting nurse,primary dr writes up an order for a nurse to visit. it would occur for my mom after a hospital stay. When you invite help into your home sombody needs to be there to leave that trusted adult in your home.
I was there for the initial visit, and the nurse would call to let my mom know what time she was comming. She did well with that. Then I would ask the nurse to contact you or write her notes in a journal of her visit. I did the same with my hired friend. I had a journal of all that was done during her visit. What she ate, drank, activities, meds. Mood, bathroom events etc. It was so helpful.
Hope this helps.
Take care
First of all, I have a medical alert system installed for anything of an emergency nature. They are inexpensive and give peace of mind. Secondly, I continually asked all of my mother's health care providers for recommendations for aides whom they knew until I found a real gem who both calls and checks in on my mom on a daily basis. She believes that the aide is her "friend", so we leave it at that, especially with her dementia. Even if it is four 3-4 hours per day, it is worth the peace of mind while you work.
How do I get an elderly parent to use soap after toileting, etc? I even have antiseptic cleaners in pump containers positioned around the house, but he dismisses sanitary measures.

I plan to call his doctor's office Monday to ask for more home aid/nursing since he also does not wash with soap. This led to bedsores before.

Oh, and he lies to me even about simple things.
Sorry - my post was intended as a new question. Please remove this & my "response" posting.
One thing I have found useful is adult day care. There are programs where nurses are on staff and where they have all sorts of interesting activities available to do. Also, it is not so lonely to be with others. You can hire a "babysitter" to stay with her (does not have to be a nurse, just someone responsible).
Adult day health care. In my area they pick them up, provide a snack and lunch, and the social interaction is priceless! There are also professionals around your mother for a second par of eyes! Most seniors are resistant to day care, kind of like preschool anxiety! The progranms have 2 days, 3 days, and 5 day attendence schedules. Remember she'll need extra emotional support when starting. But by her 2-3 week she will begin to have some comfort. There are different social economic centers around so do your research until you find a comfortable match! Take care of all of you...good luck!
You may want to see if you can locate a system similar to Skype that will allow you to have audio and video access to your loved one. It does require that she be able to respond to a tone and activate the system by pushing a button. You might want to check out as an option. I don't know anything about the system but I used to use a system from but I believe they no longer exist. It was wonderful and helped me stay in touch with mom any time I wanted.
Probably the most valuable service is a personal care aid that will come to the home daily - maybe mid-day. Our company offers care for just 3 hours so it is very affordable and brings a lot of peace of mind. We have engaged one of our personal care aids for 5 hours a day to come to our home for my 93 yo mother in law. She makes her breakfast and lunch, does light housekeeping, shopping, companionship, bathing, etc. She notifies us if there is anything unusual. Major peace of mind and much less cost than an assisted living for now. Just be sure to find a reputable company.
There are several "high-tech" innovations available today to help provide peace-of-mind for caregivers who find themselves geographically separated from those they are caring for. They run the gamut from remote ADL & "all is well" monitoring services, to safety & security products including solutions from vendors such as GrandCare, Sonamba, Independa, BeClose & SurePod to name a few. Often these products/services can be cost effective alternatives worth considering & also can help delay the difficult decisions of having to consider other forms of institutional care - which can be costly to undertake. I truly believe you will see more or these types of products coming to the marketplace to encourage aging-in-place more independently, safely & responsibly. Hi-tech will supplement not supplant, the hi-touch approach to caregiving as provided by friends & family caregivers and the healthcare professionals who support them.
I have been considering installing a camera system and the only problem with that would be that if something happens to her, in an area that isn't monitored, it wouldn't be dealt with right away. I'm thinking of getting a medical alert system as suggested by openheart2. I'm still looking at brands. I'm not sure which I want to go with yet...any suggestions?

Also, preparing things before hand was another great idea. Thank you all for these responses. I'm going to tie together the bits and pieces that will work best for my mom.

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