Mom won't wear diaper. What do I do?

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First, be careful not to call it a diaper. That will generally bring on resistance. A third party - non-family member such as a doctor or good friend of the parent - can often make progress here. Elders often don't like being told what to do by their "kids."

If your mom can understand that discrete protection is far more dignified than going around smelling like urine, she may decide that incontinence protection is best. But if she's shamed, or told she needs a diaper, you could be in for a losing battle.

Please try to get a doctor or someone outside the family to find a way to gently explain that many, many people need incontinence pads, and that they are really no big deal. Maybe, just maybe then she'll try them.

Good luck,
You are facing common, but frustrating, issue.
Let her see you wear them.
Of course you have to be pretty casual for that, but it worked for mom and me. Mom ended up laughing because I told her I was putting one on to watch tv and didn't want to be disturbed.
I know, we were goofy.
I miss my mom a lot. Pull ups and all.

Possible option: Remove all the regular underwear from her drawer and replace them with "disposable underwear". Don't make a big deal of it, just act as though this is absolutely normal. One brand of incontinence products is actually making briefs in colors now! But "disposable underwear" is often far easier to accept, especially when they open their underwear drawer and find them already there as if they belong there and have been there all along! I have had this work both for my Grandmother as well as for many clients!
When I first met my mother-in-law, I noticed there were pads in her bedroom everywhere. She's 73, so I was like, Sweetie do you still have your period? What's with all these pads? She told me she dribbled, and couldn't find the right one.
So one day, while I was at Wal-Mart I saw the pull-up the earlier thread spoke of. I bought a pack and told her I had bought her home some "big girl panties". Well, it stuck. Because now when she's out of them, it's much easier to say, "please don't forget to pick up more big girl panties!" She loves them.
Stray thought ..... As we baby boomers age, note to self, buy stock in Depends.
I know someone who had COPD and bad coughing attacks, they sometimes result in a unintended squirt. She would never wear "disposable underwear", or incontinence pads, but she was OK with sanitary pads, but that may not suffice.
My mom uses Assurance, a walmart brand.Easy for her to get on and off herself.They are a lavender color and we just call them underwear.She is glad it is something she can do herself and it cuts down on the laundry.She even carries a spare in her purse,she has stress incontinence.This is an emotional subject, can be seen as another slip down that slippery slope.We just try to view it as an adjustment to make things better.l
Check out the super absorbent incontinence products available through a medical supply store in your area. These are not usually available in common retail stores but are actually more cost effective because you will likely find that you are using less products and doing less laundry due to leakage at night. These products have super polymers that wick the moisture from the skin with greater efficiency than those you can purchase at Walmart, Walgreen, etc. Using these has resulted in decreased UTI and skin breakdown for us!
Just because you wear depends does not mean that you have to "depend" on them instead of going to the bathroom as usual. I would prefer to wear them in case of an accident, so my clothing would not become soiled and everyone around me know that I had just had an accident. You can still go to the bathroom, pull them down like regular underwear, and take care of business. My grandsons all wore diapers at night for a while when they were trying to stay dry - pulled them down in front and urinated w/o any problem. I would rather deal w/a soiled depends than my bed and me being completely soiled - that would be humiliating/embarrassing to the max!
Is she mobile?
Difference between a "diaper"..the tab type and a "pull up" brief type.
If she is mobile and able to use the brief, pull up type then just remove all her other underwear and replace them with the pull up brief. If she questions it just tell her that the others are in the wash.
Most of the pull up type are now either white or there are pastel colored ones for women and gray for men.

Now I just purchased a pad to place on my husbands bed that I am very happy with it is made by Conni and they have undergarments for men and women. If they are as absorbent as the pad that go that might solve a problem. The undergarments look like regular underwear and the inserts are replaceable and washable. that might be an option. But the bed pad was fairly expensive and I can only imagine the underwear is as well. But I guess cost of disposable vs cost of reusable probably reusable is less expensive in the long run.

Also do not call them "diapers" it infantalizes someone and it is bad enough that they are loosing themselves without being thought of as an infant

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