We took mom's medication bottles out of her house because she can't manage her medications anymore. Now she thinks we're trying to kill her and doesn't trust me. What can we do?

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We got six pill boxes for mom's pills. They are marked morning, noon, evening. At first she did well by herself placing the right medications in the right boxes. Since she broke her hip and had to be shocked two times to get her heart in rhythm, she has become confused about the pills. Every time we went to her house the pills were wrong. We asked Home Health to check on them, but they still ended up being wrong. We think it's because she messes with them herself. She thinks she can still do it right. A few weeks ago, we took the bottles away from her. One of us has been filling her boxes once a week. We go see her every week and call her twice a day. She is getting very upset because we took the pills away and does not understand we are doing this to help her get the right pills at the right time. She thinks we are trying to kill her. My husband can't handle her attitude and becomes very upset with her. Mom even told him that she didn't trust me. What can we do?

Answers 1 to 9 of 9
Feeling the loss of independence is one thing, but I think your Mom is having episodes of confusion that can end up being dangerous for her. If this is a new development, she may have had a reaction to the shocks.
Whether it is temporary or not, she needs to keep the meds straight. It sounds like she lives on her own...yes? The only way to guarantee that she is taking them correctly is to have someone check on her everyday. There really is no other way.
The fact that she has grown suspicious of everyone also worries me. Has she been evaluated or have you talked to her doc about the confusion she is experiencing?
Also, if she is taking a lot of perscriptions, find a good pharmacist who will tell you what each pill does and if there are any interactions or redundencies. Everytime I take Mom to a new doc they prescribe a new drug and really do not take the time to review her meds. We finally have her down to the essentials...3 Rxs. If it is possible to have your mom's whittled down this may help, too.
good luck...Lilli
When my mom was still in her own home, she only took two pills. She got to where she couldn't keep them straight. I put them in a pill box and I would call her each morning and sit on the phone while she took her pills. I went by her house 3 or 4 times a week to check the box to make sure she was taking them correctly. I began noticing that she was taking them again during the day....she would go back to sleep or take a nap and wake up thinking it was a new day and she would take them again. She made herself sick. The only way for you to make sure that your mom is taking her meds is to hand them to her and watch her take them and keep the pills and box with you or however is responsible (maybe locked in a box in her home?). My mother lives with us now and I have to watch her take them because she drops them and doesn't notice...I fear the dog will get one of her pills and die! It is no easy job.
Sounds like it is time for either in home care or nursing home. She can make herself very sick taking her medication incorrectly. If she doesn't trust u to set up her medicine, maybe a pharmacist can set it up for individual doses each on labeled with the the day and time. But if she is that confused she really needs 24hr care.
Hi. I had the same problem with my mom. I went on e-bay and ordered an automatic pill dispenser. It was about $100 but well worth the money. You open it, add pills in the little slots and then program it to go off at different times of day to disperse the pills. The only way she can shut the alarm off is by sliding the little door open to reveal the pills. It really helped my mom feel more independent but eventually we had to just take them and give them to her because she learned to take them out, turn the alarm off and then would leave them sitting on the lid. The earlier stages are hard when they are paranoid about everything. It gets easier later on when they accept the fact that they need help. (very hard for my stubborn paranoid mom) I think it was called med-alert. If you need more info let me know. Sue
I don't think she necessarily needs to be put in a home. Some families are prepared to care for their loved ones through the end. Everyone's situation is different and being in "home care or a nursing home" is not always the best move for everyone.
There are other options but I do agree if she's dropping them someone needs to witness her her taking them.
I also had to take over my mom meds. It was not easy. What I do is call each med out as I pass therefore allowing her to agree that she is receiving her meds. She still ask me about six times a day if she has taken all that she was suppose to. I feel bad taking control but I have repeatedly explained that I follow her original schedule that she used for a very long time.
Had similar issues here. Last fall we discovered a pill dispensing machine from Philips Lifeline. The company programs it for you, you give them the schedule times. At the time she is supposed to take the pills the machine will say it's time to take your medicine push button please. There is a red button on the front of the machine which flashes until pressed. It will say this each minute until it is pressed. If she doesn't press it within 45 minutes it will call up to 4 people to notify them. If, after 90 minutes it still has not been pressed to dispense it will call again and shift the pills off to a secure location to prevent double dosing. The machine has a lock on it so my parents cannot get into and mess up the pills. All the controls are inside. There is a control to dispense early doses if they are going out for some time. They were resistant at first but now LOVE it.
You can measure out up to sixty doses of meds into the machine. So if she takes pills 2x daily you can measure out 30 days in one sitting, 3x daily 20 days... The cost is about $75/month. There is no contract, it's month to month. We have used it for the last six months. It has been a true Godsend.
Top Answer
I went through the same thing with my 97 year old Mom. I after trying the pill boxes and other creative things, My sister and I just had to take turns and stay with Mom and give her her meds as they were needed. It was a little easier on us since we lived within minutes of her. I know what you are going through and now I take care of my 65 year old husband who has Alzheimers for 4 years. Seems I have always taken care of someone. She died at home in her bed with my sister and I by her bed. God Bless you
I don't know if you are the only one taking care of your mom, but I have given both my brother and sister jobs to do that take care of my dad's needs. Dad lives with me but my sister comes out at least every two weeks to fill his pill trays. If you are by yourself then maybe you need to hire some help sometimes if she can afford it. Maybe you have a Council on Aging they have services at reduced or for free or what you can pay.

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