What to do when your mom fires the caregiver you hired to care for her?
Well, I found a totally qualified young nurses aide in search of work- and hired her to care as a companion/aide for my 83 yr old Mom with Alzhiemers..who lives at home with me.. Im gone to work everyday- gone over 10 hrs a day- and she was too afraid and sometimes confused being alone.. The Aide has only been here 5 wks.. and was doing fantastic till today when my Mom questioned her religious beliefs and was not happy with the answers- and basically asked her to leave- and shut the door on her.. Of course Im at work unable to do much- I called and listened to both sides-- the aide could have not answered the question-- but she is 19 and inexperienced in thinking thru that posible outcome, and Mom has not given her any reason to think she would act so irrationally- (yet) so, Mom had the point that she is young and dosent have anything in common- and then she went to irrational paranoia- saying she was taking things.. stealing and what not.. (not true) she was in bedrooms because she was doing laundry, folding and returning the items to the rooms- doing what I asked of her.. She has only done what I have asked- completely been compliant and very very helpful-- And respectful of Mom, attentive to all her needs-- It is a rare find.. I am heartbroken that my Mom treated her this way- we both know its mainly the illness- but some of it is Mom too- She is a true narrow-minded racist- and no the gal is not a different race- but she is a different religion-- which dosent matter to me.. but it does to my Mom-- I cant find someone that meets her exact standards.. I have to get whom I can.. and wgh=hom I trust.. I want this caregiver-- but Mom has put down her foot and said- I didnt ask for her and I dont want her back.. So, who wants to work for that? I think that if I try to get an older aide-- she will do the same paranoia about her too- My Son cant even play a game onthe computer with and online friend- she will call me at work and indicate he is talking to a stranger, pervert-- Her fears are infringing on all my Son and I do- we cant go out in the eves- moie or dinner hardley without zooming back- as she will have called everyone and gone to the neighbors for sympathy about me abusing her by leaving her alone..-- Im a single Mom and I am working hard to pay the bills and keep her here.. but I am getting heartache and stress and health issue myself.. My Son and I dont have peace and freedom to go and do as we wish in our own house- If I open a blind in the day hours while Im home- she shuts it-- she constanly goes behind me un-doing what I do.--we are not compatible.. She has no money-- and has no options except a nursing home.. Of course she minipulates me with guilt at that option.. in fact tonight she is refusing to eat and is hold up in her room- because I said I didnt want to talk about the events of the day-- with her caregiver-- I came home from work eariler- trying to hear her side in person-- I even said if she dosent like her we can look for someone else- and could she stay until then- she wanted the gilr to not come back period..stating she was a thief and non-christian and not wanted or asked for..Heavy SIGH.... I am about ready to pull the plug and send her to a home.. My Son and I cant continue on like this-- If I were to get someone else- I believe she will do the same thing.. no one will be good enough.. Im not good enough.. we are all the enemy, out to get her and her things.. she called a ton of people today-- I even got a call from our local social services checking into the matter with me.. When I got home- My Son said the Poilce were here too- She called 911 and forgot she had called them... Not sure what to do at this piont-- Back to drawing board- finding another replacement aide...or nursing home.. Thanks for listening,.. :-(