What do you do about a mom who constantly oversteps personal boundaries?
My mom is 86 and lives near me. She doesn't drive, and therefore I do a lot of things for and with her. The trouble is, she often crosses personal boundaries. For example, she'll say I need to lose weight (for my own good); I should have been a teacher; I have horrible friends; teachers at a school where I volunteer take advantage of me; I owe it to her to help her because she raised me, etc. It's coming to the point where I really dread being with her unless other people are around. She has no friends, refuses to go places to meet people her own age, and watches tv all day. That is all well and good, sad though it seems to me, but I don't like the way she treats me, as if I were 12 years old. What can I say that is not defensive to indicate that this is unacceptable to me. I have told her it is my business, for example, when I see my doctor, and she becomes angry. It's as though she has a right to own or run my life. I am very intelligent, capable, and well educated. I am also a widow, as is she, but she really doesn't like me spending time with friends. It's all very sad, but I need to create some better boundaries and would love some suggestions!