How do I get Mom into assisted living with only social security?

Asked by

My Mother lives with me. She has demetia and can't drive which is making her very upset, I am her only care giver. I need to get her into an Assisted Living Facility, so she can be more social. She doesn't only receive a total of 1,400 in Social Security and has no assests. She can't get Medcaid right now because the household income is too much. How do I get her into an assisted living without Medicaid. We are low income and have no assests. Please give me some advice

Answers 1 to 10 of 12
Household income isn't an issue, unless the income is her spouse's. Her daughter's income is not a factor. What makes you think she won't qualify for Medicaid?

Find the kind of facility you think Mom belongs. Discuss her health and behavior with them. Is assisted living the right kind of care? Does she need a memory care unit?

Then, you have find one that will accept Medicaid. Such a place will help you apply for Medicaid. Depending on where you are, it may be difficult to find ALF that accepts Medicaid. Often they will only take Medicaid after the resident has been private pay for so many months. But they do exist. To help you find one, talk to the Senior Help Line or Agency on Aging or Elder Care Department or whatever your state has set up to deal with these issues.

Meanwhile, have you discussed her agitation with her doctor? Perhaps a medication would help calm her until (and after) you are able to place her in suitable care.
I am running into a similar issue. My Mother had to move in with my young son and I and cannot afford to pay for assisted living or a nursing home. He breaks down and sobs for hours at the thought of going into either. Her health isn't so good, has recently gotten the flu, and cannot do anything. I know she is sick, but all of this has given me a reality check that I, by myself, cannot be her caregiver (and raise a child, work full time). My siblings have no money to help, either. Doesn't Medicaid only cover the worst homes? I've seen a lot with my grandparent's and they are like waiting places to die.
Very distressed about this. Anyone in a similar situation?
Dear Give a Hug,
Thank you for your answer. The reason I thought my mother couldn't qualify for medicaid was because I applied on line and they had you fill out a form that asked the question, how much does all the people in your household make, even non related people. When I did this it said she wouldn't qualify.I to was was under the understanding that she could get medicaid. however Iwas heart sick to hear that. I am completely overwhelmed since I am her only caretaker.
and she has recently been diagnosed with demetia.I wouldn't mind keeping her here in the home if I had help, as she will not take a bath wash her hair or anything, and gets angry with me for even sugessting it.
Top Answer
Rosiebud, skip the online application. Call Social Services in your county and ask for a needs assessment for your elderly mother who has dementia. Let the social worker guide you through the application process. One program of Medicaid is to provide in-home care, such as someone to help with a bath a few times a week, cleaning help, possibly a health aide a few hours a week, and/or paying for an adult day health program. Don't give up. Just give up the do-it-yourself approach. Please get some help before you crash and burn!
Jeanne, Thank you for your advice. It helps allot
Folks, I'm as angry, frustrated, depressed, and most of all confused about the prospects of housing an elder who still has 'some' faculties and facility, but has no money other than Social Security. It's the scourge of our nation, though not the world. Other developed countries have managed to arrive at a system based on reason and logic when it comes not only to healthcare in general, but in elder care in particular. People boast that we (the US) have the greatest healthcare in the world. I don't have to tell you that it's a total misnomer. We may well have the greatest MEDICINE in the world, but our healthcare and our ability to give elders comfort in their final years is a tragic joke. The 'rules' that govern senior care for non-monied people in this country are ludicrous.

The only way 'our' mothers and fathers are able to enter a care facility of any kind if they lack funds is to be absolutely destitute and sleeping on a subway grate or under an overpass. The only other way for formerly 'middle class' elders who now have no money other than their Social Security to find admission into any kind of a care facility is, unfortunately, to be sick enough to be admitted to a hospital for at least 3 days, after which time they might be released into a short-term rehab home. This will be at the discretion, however, of a hospital care person, and they're sending more people home with more serious issues than ever before. But, should the worst befall your moms, and they do have to go to the ER, and are admitted to the hospital, they must stay fully those 3 days and may then be released to a rehab. Be sure to select a rehab that has not only short-term but a long-term side as well. Once they've come to know your mom during her short-term 'assignment' (they're eligible for about 100 days of this rehab under Medicare). At this point, creativity is necessary. Practice your acting skills. You'll need them. You will have to approach the social worker at the facility, who will be by now familiar with your mom and you visiting and of course always stopping by her office and saying 'hi there'. Eventually, if you flash your baby blues and seem needy, the Social Worker will assist you in acquiring Medicaid certification for her prior to 'sliding' her over to their long-term operation.

I know of no other legal way, apart from attorneys who, the little vultures, make their entire living getting people qualified for Medicaid. I don't know what they charge, but I've heard in the neighborhood of $3-5,000. If anyone else knows of a way to get around the least accommodating medical care system for the aging of any developed country on the planet, I'd love to know.
TheClambelly, the reason some other countries have really good elder care is because of their high income tax rates.... imagine if someone in Congress here in the States suggested we double our income tax rate to give to social services.
Clambelly, the biggest obstacle to Medicaid right now are adult children who try to hide assets and then dump mom's care on the government. Those are the real vultures.
Flyer, we could also make some of the "One Percenters" pay some taxes. For Sanity, not sposed to talk no politics round these parts but FEEL THE BERN!
I have been reading this site since 2011... I have learned that so many caregivers are frustrated for caring family members and so many are suggesting to contact Social worker and your parent to lives somewhere else or just hire from someone from the agencies, if you or your parents could afford it.... well everyone come to this site, because "needs assistance or get ideas", I'm just wondering anyone taking care of parents and paid caregivers by long term care insurance? Are you concern of our old age that when we couldn't do anything.... I worked very nice and bad SNH's and AL's.... so I did learned to purchase well known LTCI since 2002, could be gamble or helps me in near future.... Currently our government are broke and services are so slooooow, I do feel Uncle Sam is not coming to rescue me in the long long time..... Please this is only my opinions. Maybe someone want to kick me out....

Share your answer

Please enter your Answer

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support