Can anyone provide some advice--How do we minimize the stress of moving mom to a memory care facility?

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Mom is 85 and moved into an ALF almost three months ago. Initially, it was very difficult for her, but she finally settled in and seemed to be adjusting very well to her new surroundings. Now, her dementia appears to be rapidly advancing and we’re afraid the ALF will eventually tell us they can no longer provide the care she needs and she should be moved to a facility that can care for her (Memory Care Facility?).

She has never dealt with change very well; she becomes very confused, depressed and anxious. At times she is very alert and aware of her surroundings, and there are times when she is totally confused about where she is, what she is doing, and starting to display tendencies to wander.

If -- or should I say when -- the need for more care arises, can anyone provide some advice on how we can make the move to another facility while minimizing the stress/strain on Mom and us?

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Answers 1 to 2 of 2
The asst. living where my mother-in-law has lived for the last 5 years, bills her according to a point system. The rent comes with 10 points included but if she needs more care, it's available in the form of just paying for more 'points'. I'm wondering if the asst. living where your mom lives has this also? In other words, the more care she needs the more money you have to pay but she wouldn't have to move, at least right away. It's 'normal' for your mom to be more confused in the evenings due to 'sundowners', but you most likely already knew that. I'd start with asking the asst. living people exactly HOW much care they can give her, and still stay there. Also the place where my m-i-l lives has a memory care building close by WHEN we need it in the future. Does your mom's asst. living have such a place? Another thing I've had to keep an eye on, is a UTI that she might have, that goes undetected. I know the warning signs now after 5 years, but keep that in mind for your mom too. The bladder infection can alter behavior too. Getting old stinks. :)
All changes are confusing to Alzheimer's and dementia patients. Sometimes just moving a table in their space is enough to set them off. Using care and love can help ease the pain of change for our loved ones.

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