A nursing home, hospital or any caregiving facility will turn someone away if they are upsetting the patient. And that includes a POA. Their patient's welfare is their utmost concern.
There was a similar situation posted in the forum and part of the answer was to contact an ombudsman. We have used one to help with a nursing home problem with an aunt, so that would be the next step I would guess. We are dealing with a paranoid individual so we try to be cautious.
Families can squabble all they want, but a Nursing Home will not get involved in the dispute without a restraining order from a judge. If a person is turned away by a facility, they can go to court and ask for a Show Cause and then it gets really ugly and expensive.
There are family members who are jealous of other members because the person has bragged about how much help they have been, and there are families with hidden dysfunction where sometimes the unknowing relative trying to help gets caught in the middle. Also if you dare to question the care that a relative is getting, don't be surprised if the nursing home will find a way to keep you away from their patient also. There are some people in this world that are so mean that nothing they do surprises me. Sad but true. Another really good reason to have a POA locally who actually visits the person who is being cared for. If you have your POA in another country or state, you need to think long and hard about who will REALLY be trying to help the elderly patient.
eldest, I am sorry as I did not read your post correctly. You are saying that you are being prevented from visiting as your brother sibling is blocking you. It is cruel when sibs do that to each other. I have the same problem with elderly parent not getting proper medical care, etc. It is worth filing in probate to get to visit with parent. Have evidence, make no false accusations and good luck.
alabamaspitfire, i love my mother! younger sib is a brother who is unmarried and has not worked any wage paying job for more than twelve years.
my mom is not getting proper medical care - she went off her meds, and has been alienated from me, from my youngest sibling and grandchildren. all the money from the sale of my parents home is gone (spent these last seven years). mom's rent is beyond her means. it's a nightmare.
where i live? i will have to file in probate court to get temp conservatorship.
Also watch out if your sibling is a sociopath. WINNING IS ALL – A sociopath has no conscience, no emotional attachment to others, and no ability to love. Life is reduced to a contest, and other human beings seem to be nothing more than game pieces, to be moved about, used as shields or ejected. So what does a sociopath want? A sociopath wants only to WIN.
In this case, taking control of an elderly parent becomes a WIN instead of actually caring about the parent's well being.
eldest, my evil sib is trying to declare elderly parent incompetent to take all the money, Parent is not incompetent. Sibling is just evil, filled with hate, no compassion, no heart.
Did you allow your younger sib to visit alone, maybe she does not want to visit with you, but she deserves visits with your parent. You are taking steps that might hurt your mother. Why block them? Put some love in your heart!
alabamaspitfire, my younger sibling has refused any private visits with me and my mother (a widow) since my father died. i have a legal case and am considering filing an action pro-se (without legal counsel). what did the judge order to protect your aging parent's wellbeing? my mother has not seen any of her grandchildren in more than 4 years (grandson and five grand-daughters).
And to those of you with an evil sibling who is keeping you away from an elderly parent for no reason (other than to continue the sibling abuse visited upon you as a child) do not be afraid to take them on in a court of law. If you have no money for a lawyer, look for free or some type of legal aid group to help you. Do not let them use an elderly parent as a pawn to hurt you!
Alabama, if an evil sibling causes an elder undue trauma, that sibling should not be allowed to visit. In my observations, an evil sibling will cause trouble anyway, never mind the truth. The most important part is to protect the elderly undue trauma. That's why it's best to get everything air tight with the legal end. If they sue, you can't stop them, but if they have a frivolous lawsuit, the court may even make the petitioner pay the legal costs for the respondent.
BonnieW I think you missed the point perhaps. There are evil siblings who make false accusations about the sibling they have hated all of their life and use that to keep that sibling from visiting an elderly parent. I was very involved with my mother, and when I call her she cries. The evil sibling has no compassion or empathy for the pain that they cause the elderly parent. That is why the evil sibling ends up in court.
Well gee, alwayslearning, sounds like YOU are judge and jury. For those of us who have been violated by evil siblings, we know how harmful they are to our health. Imagine it happening to older people who no longer have good health. As for my mom, if someone comes along and is detrimental to her health, I don't care if that person is the archangel Gabriel, he ain't gettin in.
Alwayslearning I have an adult sibling who is my judge, etc. She limits visits,and phone calls. For Christmas only her family visited with my Mom. I am taking her to court.
Make your own decisions and leave other people to make theirs. Siblings have different experiences of the same parents, and for some it is the right decision, or the best decision they are capable of making, to stay away. Evil? Jail? If we seriously think we have the right to be our siblings' judge, jury, and executioner then we are huge contributors to whatever problems our family as a whole might have.
Yes my mother needed help, but there was no way so called family members never came to see my mother for five month's in a psych ward, in sc. I felt something was wrong I came down to sc. From philly to see my mother. I beleave my sister needs to be in jail for her selfish ways.
Medical power of attorney empowers that person to interact with the health care profession -- doctors, hospitals, pharmacies -- on medical matters. You'd have to take the position that the visit is harmful to the senior's health. If the senior is in a setting not his/her home you'd have to get their help enforcing it, and make that case to them. Of course, they don't want trouble. And most seniors badly need as many visits as they can get, so why are you wanting to throw your weight around in this way?
Another really good reason to have a POA locally who actually visits the person who is being cared for. If you have your POA in another country or state, you need to think long and hard about who will REALLY be trying to help the elderly patient.
my mom is not getting proper medical care - she went off her meds, and has been alienated from me, from my youngest sibling and grandchildren. all the money from the sale of my parents home is gone (spent these last seven years). mom's rent is beyond her means. it's a nightmare.
where i live? i will have to file in probate court to get temp conservatorship.
In this case, taking control of an elderly parent becomes a WIN instead of actually caring about the parent's well being.