How do I live with the guilt of putting my mother in a nursing home?
The first step would now cooperate with me so I will add it here. I know that thousands of people have had to put a loved one in a nursing home. I also imagine that 95% of those people had a family, friends, or a loved one to talk to; lean on; cry on;.. I have no friends or family where I am, and I have discovered that there are no support groups nor therapists around here. There is a shrink at the hospital but my current budget doesn't allow for that
My question is, how did the 3-5% make it alone? Please, one of you tell me how you did it without severe guilt and depression. I go to bed at night crying. I get up the next day and before I can brush my teeth even I am crying. I can't go into mom's room without literally bawling my eyes out. I mowed the lawn yesterday. I looked out at it after I was finished and thought "this is how mom likes it. I sure wish she could see it". Then more tears. I really don't know what to do. I am like a lost puppy wandering around without any direction. I have no motivation to do much. I eat sometimes, if I feel hungry. I can't take her out anywhere because I can't get her into and out of her wheelchair and into my car. I am absolutely miserable!! Someone PLEASE help me.