My mother's expensive, uninsured ring disappeared from her hand while she was asleep in her assisted living home. Do we have legal recourse if something is seems stolen?

I literally saw my mother's ring slip off her finger when she was ill because she had lost so much weight so I'd be careful thinking someone else took it. We also had plenty of times when my mother said jewelry items had been stolen from her by the cleaning ladies in the AL facility and we always found them hidden in very odd places by my mother and usually wrapped in kleenex.

Be sure to report the missing ring immediately so the time frame can be narrowed down....if the ring was taken by a staff member the management can then narrow down the list of names of the staff working. Reporting it may not get justice for the replacement of the ring, however if this situation occurs (if it is theft it will) again the employee will eventuallly get caught and will be harshly dealt with...most importantly the employee will never be allowed to work with vulnerable or elderly people again. Theft at this level is uncomprehesible...however the suggestions above are great advice and come with a hard lesson learned...never leave your loved ones with unreplaceable items their are too many variables that can play a role in its disappearance. REMEMBER TO REPORT and I will pray that God will bring justice in this situation...if theft occured to expose and remove the individual involved.

I think what hurts so much when these things happen is the emotions of knowing your loved one can't defend themselves and then worrying about someone who cares so little or sees them as not even there maybe feeling free to hurt them in other ways too. NH story of "some outside person" is actually a really lame one - no one should be allowed to just brarge in and do things to patients! Make a police report and don't let them brush it off like it does not matter; granted they probalby have a policy that says they are not responsible for valuables, but they can at least cooperate and see if there is anything else they can do.

Jackalee: Please talk to the administrator at the ALF and review the 'contract' or similar document regarding the facilities responsibility for 'personal effects'. I think you are going to find that they are NOT responsible for personal effects and in many cases ANYTHING that is not provided by their facility.

That (unfortunately) being said there is a HUGE lesson for all to learn. DO NOT LEAVE EXPENSIVE items with your loved one (even IF it is insured). If they cannot LIVE without 'an item' get an inexpensive replica of the ring, necklace, clock, etc.

I spent MANY MANY hours in the Alzheimer's unit when my mother was there, and saw how INNOCENTLY another resident would come into her room, and pick up an item thinking it was theirs! Or just to 'hold' it or wear it. Glasses, sweaters, shoes, even blouses and undies 'went missing' from my mothers AND other's rooms, and to be honest, it was not malicious intent by the residents and certainly a near impossiblity for the staff to keep track of where items belonged that were NOT labeled. WHEW... long sentence!

We labeled EVERYTHING Mom had there and inventoried her clothing, even PHOTOGRAPHED her closet to keep track of things.

With regards to jewelry, we did in fact replace the rings she cherished with rings that would not be a financial LOSS if they were lost!

Her dentures went missing and since Mom was unable to get around on her own, the facility did agree to pay for a replacement denture, BUT, and this is a BIG but, cautioned us that her new dentures should be 'engraved' with her name.

There may be some liability on their part, but I would not count on it. Have them check clothing, with laundry, and even with other residents, but I wouldn't count on finding it. I am so sorry.

My mom's SNF is the same way - if her name is not on it, they don't even apologize. We have had favorite food stolen probably by other residents, clothing disappears, sometimes to reappear later, elevating footrests were lost, expensive diabetic shoes gone (socks I could understand, and we replace those by the half dozen - but SHOES??? Who knew you had to put your name in your shoes?) and now her watch as she went from ER to room at the hospital. Some is disorganization and some is theft. (That nice ring was almost certainly stolen. There are people who think nothing of theiving from the most vulnerable who can't resist or report them. You already have all the correct advice on that.) ANY personal medical equipment - and every detachable part of any given piece of medical equipment has to be conspicuously labeled or the facility assumes it belong to them to do as they please with. It does not seem to be top priority for hurried, hassled PCAs to remember that it realy hurts for people to be deprived of things they need, or of some favorite item that may be one of the few things they even have left to call their own.

I keep an indelible marker in a certain spot in my mom's drawer to do or redo her name on anything that needs it - and believe it or not, on one occasion the MARKER was taken and not returned by someone! All her drawers are gone through and rearranged, maybe not every time I visit or even every week, but even labeling drawers and keeping a sign up that we do Mom's laundry does not work all the time. I'm told that's because some facility staff can't read.

I am hopeful that each person that reads the (unfortunate) occurrences that happen in ALF's, rehab and nursing homes learns from others experiences and does differently with their loved ones.

I don't believe it is wrong to think that we can leave valuables with our loved ones and expect them to be there when we return to visit, but I don't believe it will always happen. Be careful what you leave with your loved ones and DOCUMENT any personal effects for your piece of mind, and have someone at the 'facility' aware of these items too. If they cannot assume liability (this will most like be the case) then DO NOT leave the items at the facility! This is a sad fact, but a true one.

If ONE person learns from our mistakes, then all is not in vain.

LEE:

If she's still at that facility, take longs walk around every time you visit to see if someone's wearing it (staff included). The thief might be stupid enough to flaunt it. Don't make a scene and confront the individual, as s/he might give it to someone else to hide it; and then it'll disappear altogether. Just bring a staff member to the individual and ask if the ring is part of that person's inventory. If it isn't, you're in luck.

Very good idea. My mother was missing some things which were found in another resident's closet. The staff was aware that this woman "borrowed" things and forgot to return them. They searched her apartment.

well on feb 11,2012 i put my mom in respete care and i called everyday to see how she was doing as i didn't want her to be mad for me putting her in their for 5 days so i could rest. any way on feb 11,2012 she left with her rings and when i called on wed they told me she was breathing not good so i rush over to see my mom and she is really out of it a sleeping i picked up her hand and her wedding rings were gone, i paniced and told the rn's on duty they said they didn't know any thing about them missing, the strange part as the day i took her in i told the rn' about the rings she had on and she wrote them down. now how on earth can someone take rings from a dying person. very hurt aqnd i will not even put myself in hospice as they are not compasionate and fake,so what should i do?

MomofTimmy - what I'm going to say you will not like but I worked in Health facility security - Please everyone, don't make us responsible for valuables - we need to spend out time and energy on the kind of security issues that involve patient safety. All valuables should be left at home -don't place temptation in staff's way - for heaven's sake, they are mostly minimum wage workers. We simply cannot be a property guard service.