We had the family meeting. MIL visited the ALF and like it. She is the one that made the choice to move. But we helped her along with that choice. She is 94, breast cancer, high blood pressure, won't or doesn’t remember to take her meds, we are sure that she as dementia, can't pay her bills, can't make out a grocery list, had not done laundry in a month, only take sponge baths, walks with a shuffle, complains that she is weak, not sure how well she was eating, left a pan on the stove and the stove was on, accused the care giver of taking things and now I have seen her fall twice. She has also said lately that she has been confused.
So it has been about a week since she moved into that ALF, up until today, mornings for her have been good. We are thinking she may have sundowners syndrome because at night when we would come to take her down to dinner, she was either sad or in a bad mood. However, when she had a good lunch, her mood was much better. Well this morning we arrived at her apt about 11:30am hoping to find her well. That was not the case. She said that she was sad. My husband tried to find out why she was said. And she was saying things like she moved to soon, it wasn't her choice and the somehow we made her move. She claimed that we made her sign the papers for the appt and that we were to blame for where she was at now. But we said, she said that she was glad that she made the choice to move and that it was the right time, She made those claims infront of the family. Well she went on and on, My husband said to her that she has the choice to be happy or sad, and she said no she didn't have a choice. Then she pointed her finger at me and told me not to say anything. My husband said fine, she could act any way that she wanted but we didn't need to treated that way and we would be leaving. She just said fine and we left. I'm not sure if we should have left, but we did. I don't see how we could have made anything better. The other night she pointed her finger at me a claimed that it was all my fault she is where she is and that I didn't have any right to be happy when she is so sad. Now this is the woman that has always said the "The Time to be Happy is Now". I think I just needed to vent.