How do I know when to let go when mom refuses to do what the doctor says?
Mom's health requires that she drink about 60oz of water every day. We try to get most of it in at least 4 hours before bed so getting up in the night is not an issue. She is a quiet woman with an extremely STRONG WILL!!!!!! She will absolutely refuse to drink water, use her cane (after knee replacement surgery she still has need for this to steady herself), and sometimes eating food (has experienced weight loss because of refusing to eat and lack of appetite). She makes comments that make me feel guilty like "am I not supposed to voice my opinion or make decisions for myself anymore?" - makes me feel like I have stripped her of her total independence when I am just trying to keep her healthy and follow Dr. orders. I am tired of the fight - she gives the same comments to my daughter who helps me a couple days of week. This has been getting worse and worse over the last year while she has lived with us. Part of the problem is she is confusing/forgetting information (saying that the Dr. never told her that, etc.) and seems like she doesn't trust me with what I am doing or how I am providing care for her. When my mother was living alone - she would not do what the Dr. said and ended up in the hospital a few times with kidney stones due to dehydration or just being dehydrated and needing to stay a few days in the hospital to be re-hydrated. I need the battles to stop! I am tired of the arguing and the behavior she exhibits matches my 3 yr old grandson. It is so discouraging and frustrating! Is there a point in time when I stop enforcing what the Dr. requires and allow her to control the situation even when I know she is going to end up in the hospital for days at a time on a regular basis? HELP!!!! I just feel like giving up.