I am a new full-time caregiver and live alone. How do I keep my sanity when I have no one to vent to?

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Johnny, I understand where you are coming from. My husband was on Namenda and he got so depressed and belligerent that he had to be put on Seroquel to manage him. Long story short, we took him off Namenda and he calmed down after about a month. He is now on different medication for depression, but there's no way I would let them give him Namenda....and his memory has actually improved since he was taken off! If the medication isn't working you may want to request that her doctor change her medication.
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I don't think he will qualify for respite care and I have to watch how much money goes out. There is a adult daycare near me and I have thought about
taking him there. I just have not done so yet. I have no family here and no one to talk to and I feel soooo angry most of the time.
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Oh, adajaha, you've come to the right place for advice and I hope you do get pointed back to the right direction. You, like so many, are clearly overwhelmed. The first step was reaching out. Your next step should be arranging for a respite -- time off, away from the house, so you can do whatever or nothing at all. Just time to relax and re-charge a bit. You have to take care of yourself or you won't be able to take care of anyone, and you need a break. After you find some help with a quick respite, make your next step finding permanent, part-time in-home care help, and the next step is to get hubby into some kind of social activity -- perhaps Adult Day Care, for a few hours a day, one or a few days a week. It will do both of you a world of good, and along the way you'll find the resources you need, if you look for them. Hopefully more forum members will post some concrete ideas and links for help to get your rolling. There are some wonderful people on this forum, and we all know, to some degree or another, what you are living through.
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Taking care of my husband since March of 2014 and I am going crazy. He had surgery on his shoulder and his mind was gone when he came out. They say it is dementia. ?? Things he does all day long drive me crazy and I never have a minute alone. He is like a shadow. Even when I go to the restroom. His memory of people so far is ok but everything else seems to be gone. I have trouble with my temper and it is very hard to control. I was told to have someone come in and go out but I have no where to go and nothing to do. He does not want me to do anything in the house except sit or lay down and watch the TV. He does not pay attention to the TV nor can he do anything. I just do not know what to do any more.
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I've been a caregiver for 6 1/2 years. One thing I've realized is not to lose yourself. Be a loving, caring, kind, compassionate person. Not just to your loved one, but to yourself as well. You deserve that. Take a scheduled break and do something for yourself. It's essential.
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well, some of us have not chose to be a caregiver.....I would not chose this in a million yrs, it is difficult, makes me crazy and the anger and hopelessness, let alone the resentment I feel because i didn't deserve to be left in this position in life, with little money, haveing to do all the important legal and financial matters, as well as having to work hard at this age, has left me so drained. It is a difficult time right now and I realize I need to find some help, I'm the one who needs an attitude adjustment and more solutions. It's not that I don't love my husband, it's just that I hate this whole predicament, a journey that coul've been made easier if we'd both done a lot of better palnning a long time ago. I'm also a caregiver to a grown son who had an accident 6 yrs ago and has a TBI.....so, two men with brain issues is a difficult task, takes the stuffing out of me and makes me question my own sanity.....I used to be a very strong woman, a caring person who loves to be with people.....I have no one anymore to really "connect" with, talk to or share a meaningful life, matter of fact, I haven't much of a life......and this could go on for yrs......anniekins
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Get Out while you can.... Been taking care of my father for 1year and a half and now I feel nothing but anger and resentment all the time. Right now I feel stuck and trapped. We did not think we would be taking care of him this long. Thought he would get better. Boy, were we wrong!!! It changes you.. It has me and not for the better I must say.
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my mother had cancer an passed on 3-19-11. I moved in with her along with my two children.So I know where youre coming from. There was days when i just didnt know how to deal with EVERYTYING But I did it. Just keep going when you can an take a break when you need to.
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Thanks for the reply Annie. You have contributed to my knowledge of vascular dementia. I wish you well and hope your other siblings will find the decency to contribute a little more to your mother's care as you have a lot of responsibility.
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Maggiesue my Mom has Vascular Dementia. Mom is happy in her own world and sometimes when she smiles at me I just feel so much love for her. She doesn't know I'm her Daughter but she knows she is safe with me. I'm lucky that she has no pressure sores, has a great appetite (has to be fed) and aside from the fact that she has to be moved with a hoist now, she's really in good health. Actually the hoist has proved a blessing because even though my brother has been a great help for the physical side of things, the hoist means I can move her on my own. The way I look at it is Mom had 10 kids - she was a great mother and lived her life for her kids. Surely at least 1 of us can take care of her. I'm obviously having a better day today than I was when I wrote the initial comment. I've had a break for a few hours and feel much better about my situation. I've learned that regular breaks are really really important for your mental health.
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