bigsister09 Asked March 2010

Can you have joint Power of Attorney for a parent with your sibling?

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My mom had a stroke. She had a will, but no POA executor named. My sister and I are making health/finance decisions jointly. Is this ok?

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EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack Mar 2010
It may be good to see an estate attorney to determine if anything else should or can be done to make the transition easier and to avoid any legal complications. It never hurts to check.
Carol
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Carol72156 Aug 2011
Just for the record, my sister and I share Power of Attorney duties --- my sister takes care of the finances and lives in another state. I live nearby and take my parents to the Dr so I'm in charge of everything related to healthcare. We set this up according to my parents' wishes and with the help of an attorney 3 years ago and it works quite well.
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Galoshes59 Dec 2013
I have joint POA with my sister and it has been a nightmare. Look at your sister objectively. Does she have problems holding a job? Does she yell and scream at people when she doesn't get her way? Is or has she been on drugs? Are there multiple people she has banned from her life because of differences? Do you have to watch what you say around her for fear of 'upsetting' her.

I you answered yes, do not be joint anything with her. Don't for one minute believe that she would never turn on you like she has everyone else. The first time you don't tiptoe around her, you will find out the truth.

Guardianship is an expensive and lengthy process. Don't do it unless you have to. Are people stealing from your mom? Do you need the extra protection of a judge to help enforce the proper disposal of your mom's assets?
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cmagnum Apr 2011
virginiajnorto,
If your brother already has medical POA, then you can't get one unless your mother takes him off and gives it to you or takes him off and gives it to both of you. I would not suggest a joint POA anymore than I would suggest a joint executor of a will.
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cmagnum Apr 2014
A POA is no longer valid after the person dies. Sorry to hear about the loss of your father and two siblings. Who is the executor of his estate?
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Trinity Mar 2015
Yes, you can have more than one POA. But, from my experience, usually one child gets stuck doing it all.
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cmagnum Apr 2011
The will should name its executor which I have seen written up joint, but to cover yourselves you really need to have your mother grant you durable and medical POA if she is competent to. If not, then one of you will need to file for guardianship.
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sooz55 Nov 2014
May I suggest Hospice services? My mom, age 86 has a brain tumor in addition to a worsening case of Alzheimer's. This tumor gives her sometimes unbearable pain. When we obtained the services of Hospice, they provided us with everything, including meds for her pain. We finally had to give her morphine, which I'm sure you know is a very restricted type of medication with strict controls. This drug was (and still is) given to mom in pill form and an oral liquid. If any drop of it or pills were missing, or couldn't be accounted for, we would face criminal drug laws and possibly worse but I'm sure Hospice services would come to an end. But it was Hospice that kept careful track of mom's drugs and if any were found missing, we would be questioned relentlessly (I know because one of the bottles fell behind a cup in the cabinet where it was kept and ... well, it was not pleasant - and the looks I got until I found it were also uncomfortable). I mention this as having someone else monitor the pills instead of you or some other family member would perhaps instill a bit of fear in your drug-loving sister. Just an idea. You have quite a burden to handle and Hospice would lift some of that off your shoulders..
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brinoz Jan 2015
This is why my sib thinks I'm evil. Since she is the oldest she feels she the right to be POA. As far as a joint POA (which is what she has suggested now) would be like being thrown a snake pit. She has disliked me forever, unless she "needs" something from me, which has been often. Now she is just mean and screams at me all the time. This is because my mother used to send her money every month, she is 66, and I have stopped the "gravy train". I am finally getting over being hurt each time she mistreats me, but I still love her and wish things were different. I have been with mom for about 3 years without compensation, she used to come for a couple weeks to give me a break @$350. per week. The last time she was here she helped herself to $3,000 so I told her not to come back. Unless you have NEVER had any problem with the other sib, DON'T DO IT!! Money changes families and it is common, but so sad.
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cmagnum Jun 2016
This is an entirely new question and really needs to be on a new thread. However, I'll ask this. Was your bother's name on your dad's account as a joint owner with right of survivorship? If so, there is really nothing you can do. If he was not, then your dad's account should have been changed into an account called "the estate of your dad" and outstanding bills and debts paid from it before any money is disbursed by the executor.
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