I am on a joint checking account with my mother.

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Over 10 years ago my mom called me and wanted to write will and give me POA - Durable. She also put me on her checking account - joint. She did this telling me that she wanted me to use it for whatever I wanted. She wanted me to have things while she was alive so she could see me enjoy it. I did not abuse this (she was living on her own and in better health than I - this was 11 years ago) Even now she tells me to use our joint account.
After what I'm reading do I have to account for anything I spent from a joint account? She says it is "our" money.
She has lived with us now for 6 years rent free. Many times I buy her medicine and all the time her clothes with my money, also groceries especially for her.
What is the deal with a "joint account" - She says maybe she should tape record her saying it is her intent for me to have. NONE of her other grandkids, son or anyone except my child and grandkids have sent a card, call for over 6 years. She is done with them. Her and I are very very close. I might add that whatever money she has (after the sibs drained what they could) was from her 2nd marriage to an 86 year old man, who had a stroke and I quit my career (lucritive) to drive 40 miles 3-4 days a week to care for him after he had a stroke right after their marrriage. Her blood pressure was out of control and I was afraid she would die if I didn't help. So for 10 years I have been caregiver. First to him and last 6 years to her, although she has only gotten weaker after the flu last year. I'd say the last 2 years have been hard. But we lost our freedom 6 years ago when she moved in. Although I wouldn't have it any other way. Sorry so long, trying to get you the picture. She seems (and I too) that I own the checking as much as her. ???? She now wants to buy me some new flooring (which unfortunately she ruined the white carpet and that is why we need replacement).

Answers 1 to 10 of 10
This is NOT the title I put on my question!!!!!! Wrong information.
No question about "spending down" my mom will never need Medicare.
Why was this added to my question???????
Who "made up" the title....my title was "Question about a joint checking acccount" that was it...nothing about spending down, abuse to do it.
How can this board change the question I asked???????? I am furious!
Not a word was asked about "spending down" Read the body of quesion - not the title
Again I am furious! I did not write anything about "spending down" this was added by the board!! I am in shock. My mom will never have medicade so there is No spending down about it. She has nursing home insurance.
How can this board just "make up a title I didn't write".
I am going to keep writing until my "real" question is put on which is:
"Question aout joint checking account".....PERIOD!
Never said "I feel like I need to start spending on this account"!
PLEASE remove this and post what I really wrote.
Top Answer
golf - i feel your pain re the titles of questions being changed...

These are my expereinces and understanding ONLY. No legal expert here.
To your question - I shared a joint checking account with my Mom and two absent siblings. As Mom was suffering from dementia these funds were used solely to pay for Moms care and the maintenance of her assets and I had a legal responsibility NOT to spend for any other reason.

Thus my situation is somewhat different.

A joint account should mean equal access to all parties - and if one party dies the monies go automatically to the other. Wht you want to avoid is anyone coming out of the woodwork later and shouting elder financial abuse!

So - is Mom of sound mind? Does she she still tend to her own financial affairs or are you doing it? Are you the sole inheritor of her will? Does she want to make you sole inheritor?

If she is of sound mind, and wants you and you alone to have access to these funds both now and after she passes, there are ways to make that happen and to protect these funds from others.

Call the attorney who drew the POA, or another attorney - ask what you need to do. You might be surprised how affordable it is gt peace of mind on these issues.

Also she could give you a cash 'gift' each year of (currently $13000) without incurring gift taxes - and as it is near end of 2011 she could give you $13000 in December and again in January 2012. As long as she is of sound mind. I'd go to the bank and have these transfers made in front of the banker.
She has left everything to me in annunities with "POD" so it will not go into probate, this is money from my step father who had no relationship with my sibs and I was like his daughter, because I took care of him .This was her idea and it took years before I agreed (guilty) but after 2 sibs died and the one left is a narcissist that has nothing to do with her, but sided with the ex-sister in law against me. For NO reason at all except I put the brakes on them sucking her checking accounts dry....(my mom asked me to do this by taking over her accounts. Although she kept checkbooks and couldn't tell them no and they drained 3.
She does have some stock that will go to probate and I am going to let that happen so I can pay off my brothers house (which she has paid for most of it already) and she told me the other day she wanted that changed that she wanted me to have it all....but I'm not going to do that. When my mom sold the house she and dad owned she bought each of us (4) the vechile of our choice, brand new. . 2 of the siblings have passed since then. Her will states that if children die before her it bypasses the grandkids and goes to remaining children. This was made 11 years when we were all alive. Her broker (who was my step dads broker) told her it would be easier if she just left me as beneficiary rather than change will and monies would not go into probate and go directly to me. She has always been a giving mother and I am taking care of her and she appreciates so much.
She has told me to do the "gift thing" for me and my husband every year, yet we have only done it 2 times. She used to do for my daughter and son-in-law too until they became wealthy and daughter refused because they don't need it.
I'm rambling, but all I really want to know is if a joint checking is owned by the 2 on it and does the other have to show receipts.....it was her intent for us to share the money there, for the past 11 years. If she passes why should I have to be run through the wringer after taking care of her when others turned their back on her. ?
Also beside the carpet, she ruined the $10,000 counter top by cutting noodles without a cutting board. I did not replace it, but she has caused damage to our house which we just endure do to her poor eyesight and she didn't mean to.
THank you mariesmom........do you know how I can get in touch with the moderator or who I should talk to about changing the title of the question to the question I really asked?
I tried ot post a new question asking and it was never posted. I love this sight, it helps when things are rough and if feels good to help others, but if the questions are "altered" by the web site, how can we know if any of this is true. I just can't and won't get over it until my question is changed to my original question which is NOTHING like was put on.....Frustrated enough without having your words twisted by this web site?
You can go to 'about us' at bottom of page which will lead you to 'contact us'.
Thank you! You are the best! You should be in charge. You are so insightful and I love reading your advise. One smart cookie you are.
Thank you for correcting my question!!!!!

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