Follow
Share

My mom is almost totally incontinent and does not seem to realize when she has to wet.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
My mom also had urinary incontinence, had to wash the bed sheets daily. System was a waterproof cover, then side by side washable pads, then sheet, then disposable pad, then sheet folded in half and laid over disposable sheet, and tucked under the mattress. So were o ly washi g the top most half sheet most days. It got worse during the day, and the doctor started her on medication for incontinence, because a rash wasn't clearing up. Still uses depends during the day, and has accidents, but no nightime wettting anymore. So do ask about medications. Washing sheets daily was a killer.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Correction to above. Should say, Is there some reason you feel you can't just place him in a facility without taking him to an ER?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Is there any reason you can't have him evaluated for a Memory Care facility?

Does he have the funds for it? If not, you might see if he qualifies for Medicaid. It's very difficult to care for a dementia patient full time alone in the home as you know.

Is there some reason you feel you can just place him in a facility without taking him to an ER?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My husband was diagnosed 4 years ago, but just 5 days ago, he started not knowing how to use the toilet. He forgets to pull down his underwear or depends and tells me that he has to go, but comes out a minute later and says the urge has gone. He's also seeing people in the house. Had him tested for a UTI, but that came back negative. I'm trying to get him into a day care or even a nursing home because I don't have the strength to undress and dress him. He refuses to lift his feet when I ask him and I've now pulled a tendon in my elbow fighting to get his feet up. Is there some trick to use to get him some assistance? the last person I spoke with told me to take him to the ER, and not to say anything about wanting extended care for him. Is that how it works?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My mom doesn't have dementia (that I know of) and is just about incontinent in both "areas", so to speak. To hear her tell it though, she's "not "incontinent", it's just that when I have to go, I HAVE TO GO - NOW! ...and I don't always make it to the bathroom" Oy. ...isn't denial a wonderful thing? ;)
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I am now just experiencing this. I have washed my moms sheet everyday for the last 3. So today I went and bought Depends. After reading this I guess I need to get the mattress pads also. I just don't understand why she is doing this now. Went to Dr. last Friday and no UTI so I am ruling that out. The only way I knew she peed the bed is she came out in PJ top and no bottoms, she still kept her panties on and slept in them soaking wet. Not wanting her to get to having a BM in her bed or pants! .
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My mother always says that somebody else did it when she pees on herself. I always just tell her that she must have spilled something on herself.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Mom always insists that she doesn't need to go to the bathroom, but if I can manage to get her there she always 'goes.' The trick is to get her there every few hours. She developed a sore on her bottom before she came to live with me, and I had to treat it for weeks before it healed. I can usually get her to come with me to the bathroom by telling her that I have to check the sore on her bottom. Once there, she willingly sits on the toilet. It is well worth the extra effort it takes to get her to the bathroom often. It sure beats dealing with soiled depends, which she calls her panties. She is always surprised if she has soiled her 'panties', so I am sure they don't realize what they are doing. Sometimes she even insists that she didn't do it; that someone else did it in her panties. Oh, yes, a sense of humor helps. Laugh when you can because you surely will cry.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

That's so true. What would we do without a sense of humor??!!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Hey Amazing Grace, when I had my first son in 1988, and he threw up, I called my mom and asked her how to clean his clothes, she told me to take them off him, and take them outside and hose them off and that's what I did hahaha. Aint that something! And no it doesn't sound creul especially when you've just finished changing them and they go all over again. It's OK like you say you've got to keep a sense of humor about it.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

That's so funny. You know, we have to keep a sense of humor. My grown son picks on his daddy all the time and he told him that when he starts messing up his pants that he is taking him out on the driveway and wash him down with the pressure washer. I know that sounds cruel, but you just have to know the two of them. I got a really good laugh from that one and we need all of those that we can get!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

mizunderstood10 :) Your husband is a keeper, cause he's honest. You know most of the time I want to put on one of those toxic suits myself (smiles)!! but I just make sure I have gloves on hand. Whewwww Weeeeeeeeee!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

pamela, I wonder about that too. My husband is quite a bit younger than me. He said if I get to that point, he will change my Depends, but he'll wear one of those toxic suit thingies people wear on TV shows. ;)
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

It is very sad. I was just thinking tonight how Mom used to do everything. She was such a good hostess and had so many friends and was so involved in life. Many of her friends are gone now and, of course, she's just not the same anymore. It makes it hard on the friends that she does have. And, family...many of them stay away since Dad died. But that's another story. :) Thanks so much for your support in here. I'm so glad we have each other.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

It really is Amazing. To think of what our parents were, and what they become is almost more that one can bear. I know sometimes when I'm changing my mom, as she turns from side to side, it is really as if changing a child. It really makes you think though, I wonder to myself who will wipe my nose when I'm old.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Incontinence is a part of AD, but my mother didn't become incontinent until she was in the later stages, long after the diagnosis. She still tells me when she needs to have a bm, so that hasn't become a problem for us yet. It's just all so sad, isn't it?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I didn't know this was a form of dimensia either. My mom does not realize when she has to go either. Sometimes she says she has to go and when I check she's already gone. Then sometimes when I'm changing her she goes at that time. I have just started waiting to make sure she is finished. But I use those bed pads too, they work real well on top of the sheets.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

yeah i would ask dad need go to bathroom . no no no he says haha .
i got a call from his dr today yes he has uti again . they just keeps comin back all the time . he refuses to let the dr use scope thru his penis to see whats causing the pblms . dad just flat out said noooooooo. :-(
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Didn't we just do a thread on pooping and peeing. After being with Mom for four days int he hospital, I saw how the CNA's handled peeing and pooping issues, and duplicated all the STUFF at home:

Some washable pads (30x36) layered over the mattress. Then a sheet blanket thing, Then one of those washable pads taped to the blanket with packing tape. Then a 30x36 disposable over that, held with packing tape. Have portapotty right next to bed. I cut her out of her Depends (with poise pad inside). She can go through two of those per night. Roll them into the disposable sheet and put those into plastic bag.

Get foaming cleaner and use with paper towels. Get bacterial cleansing foam...plastic gloves.

Mom sometimes remembers to wake me in the middle of the night,b ut I think she now senses that warm and wet is comforting and "real." I've given up chiding her about wetting herself.

Poop is more dangerous health wise. See "Sunshine Cleaning" for more tips on handling biotoxic waste. ha ha.

Bob DeMarco, editor of the Alzheimers Reading Room, said he "solved" incontinence by discovering the exact schedule needed to get his mother to the bathroom. He couldn't SOLVE incontinence, just manage less incidents.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Maybe try and limit liquids before bedtime also would help. My aunt has dementia and by the time she gets the signal to go, she doesn't always have time to make it to the bathroom. It's all just part of it, I guess.....
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Thanks Everyone. Yes, urinary tract infection has been ruled out but that was awhile ago. It seems like whenever I have her go to the bathroom she doesn't have to go much but her Depends is full. Bad timing I guess. I'll have to do it more often. The mornings are bad because I can't get her up to go during the night and this morning, for example, she was sopping wet. I got a pad to put over her sheets and that is helping. I don't have to wash her bedding so often now. I think it's her dementia. You're right, Bobbie. It IS gross!! I didn't have any kids so I never had to deal with poopy diapers before now. :)
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You have to pop her on the pot every hour or so. Pain in the butt I know.

These days I just lead Mom into the bathroom and put her on the pot and tell her, take your time, relax, etc.

It has worked and her accidents have almost stopped for the time being. I know that as the disease progresses it will become bad again but for now I am happy for the respite of pee and poop.

When someone does not know if they have pooped or peed they have dementia...whether it's AD or any of the other dementias our there.

Try to maintain a sense of humor with it because it's gross!

Bobbie
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I would definitely check for any infections. My mom has Alzheimer's an usually can go to the bathroom, but then there are times that she completely forgets how, where, what, and every other detail regarding bathrooms. Her "undergarment" which is what we call her throw away underwear really help with messes.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Yes, incontinence is part of the process. My dad has both types. Sad! :( Just hate seeing him decline in all aspects = continual grieving.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Has Urinary Tract Infection been ruled out?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.